Happy New Year: Selling Yourself....Every Day

In some of my talks, I share with my audience how we sell ourselves every day. Before you say, "Naaa, I don't do that," bear with me and see how, intentional or not, you sell yourself.

Now, I'm not talking about 'selling out' or participating in the 'world's oldest profession.' I'm talking about the perception others have of you due to how you:

1. Speak
2. Treat others
3. Present Yourself

Do you speak words of wisdom and kindness? Do you treat others according to the Golden Rule? Do you present yourself like a professional or give in to emotions / whims? (Okay, y'all, maybe I do act on a whim once in a while...)

People are watching, and once you realize that, it may cause you to live life differently. You and I have an influence, good or bad, on others. And, now that we realize this, we can choose to accept it in the following ways:

• Acknowledge the truth and resolve to live life better.
• Acknowledge the truth and decide you really don't care.
• Dismiss the truth and continue to live your life just the way you are. (Which may be a fine way to live...or not.)

I was talking with a friend recently. He shared that a speaker who, on the surface, really seems to have it all together, has tarnished her 'professional' reputation in the way she handles her personal life in public: drunkenness, flying off the handle, being manipulative and devious. This is more than enough to prevent me from inviting her to speak to any organization or share the stage with me. In business, it's more than important to be able to trust those with whom you trust the reputation of your business.

So, it goes in life. No matter what business you're in, people are watching who YOU are. You truly are selling an image of yourself every day, who you are. And it matters.

Today, I happened to read a blog post by Darren LaCroix. If you aren't on Darren's Stage Time newsletter email list, sign up now. You can thank me later. In this particularly post, "Stage Time: Bill Cosby, O.J., and You?" Darren shares that we have an opportunity to influence others around us by example. He says: People close to us are watching our actions more closely than the words they hear us say. (Click here to read the entire post.)

You're still here? Seriously, go read Darren's post. He says it all.

And remember, you really do sell yourself every single day. You don't have to be perfect. Just be you, the authentic you. And make sure you're selling who you want the world to see.

Imperfect but working on it,

Jean

Jean Bailey Robor is that “No Buts About It” speaker who simply wants you to lead happier, more successful lives. Getting past what’s holding you back and changing your mindset can put you on that path to better living. Click here to book Jean for your next event!

Are You A Creature of Habit?

Yesterday, I was reminded that we are creatures of habit. What habits have you created? Do they serve you well or do you wish you’d never created them?

A few weeks ago there had been a flurry of roadwork going on in my hometown. (If you’re a Burlington resident, you know exactly what I mean)! Streets were being scraped to make way for new pavement. It was rough driving there for awhile until the new pavement was laid. Wow, what a difference it made, and I came to appreciate something I’d taken for granted all these years: good roadways.

Interestingly, at the intersection of Main and Maple, a traffic flow change had been made. For years, we had been driving up to the intersection with the right lane giving us the option of turning right or going straight; the left lane was for left turns only. Now, according to the signs and painted arrows, the right lane was for right turns only; if you wanted to go straight or turn left, you needed to be in the left lane.

So yesterday, as I stood at the corner waiting to cross, I noticed that 4 out of 6 cars drove straight through the intersection, in the wrong lane. One of them even did this as a car was driving straight through in the correct lane; fortunately, the driver, noticing his error, slowed and let the other go through before he continued down Main Street behind him. I cringed a bit inside, hoping they wouldn’t crash. As I shared this with a friend, she noted, “It’s only a matter of time before somebody crashes.”

That’s when I realized that we really are creatures of habit. No doubt these drivers, just like me, had been driving down Main Street for years in the old traffic pattern. Even with a sign several yards before the intersection that warned of the change, many (if not most) drivers were continuing to go the same route they’d been going.

Does that sound familiar? Are you a creature of habit? Have you been doing things, saying things, believing things simply because you’d done it, said it, believed it for years?

I challenge you to ask yourself, do these actions, words and beliefs serve you well? Or do you find yourself on a downward spiral, ready to ‘crash’ at any minute?

Because of a traffic pattern change, and my own tendency to swerve into the wrong lane, I’ve asked myself that same question. What am I doing, out of habit, that I should change? What am I saying that I should stop saying? What am I believing? And do those beliefs have a solid foundation or should they be changed?

Good or bad, we are creatures of habit. Let’s make sure that you—and I—follow our good habits and rid ourselves of the ones that drag us down before we find ourselves ‘crashing.’

Habitually yours,

Jean

Your Perfect Day!

Have you spent your whole life waiting for your perfect day? Most of the time, I believe, what gets in our way of a perfect day is stress. Stressful situations can steal our joy in a heartbeat!

Today, I'll share with you 3 tips that I recently shared on Celebrate Life! the Internet radio show, to help you realize and experience YOUR perfect day.

I believe the worst gift we can give ourselves is to allow stress into our lives. Why? Because it’s such a negative force. Stress is not only emotional, which is bad enough, it also affects us physically. There’s a reason they’re called stress headaches! And that’s not all. According to WebMD many types of heart diseases such as heart attack and high blood pressure can be brought on by stress. It’s a nasty little culprit that you can’t afford to let into your life. Too much stress can ruin your perfect day before it even gets started.

There are many times when things happen that are less than pleasant or downright traumatic. This is life and, I don’t know about you, but I can’t control all my circumstances. But there is something I can control and that’s how I react to unpleasant situations that come my way. It’s not the circumstances, it’s the reaction that matters most. And for you, it’s your reaction that matters.

In order to de-stress your life and live your perfect day, you have to find something that works for you. These 3 tips are what works for me.

1)Breathe. Yep, it's that simple. When stressed, I find that I take shallow breaths. If I remind myself to breathe and breathe slowly and deeply, it has a calming effect. When you feel anxious, tell yourself: When stressed, take 3 deep breaths.

2)Expose your perfect day. Take a few moments to visualize your perfect day. Expose it to yourself, in your mind. Then, take it a step further: write it down; expose it on paper. Now, take it another step further: speak it out loud at least 5 times.

3)Move toward your perfect day. It's not enough to de-stress by breathing deeply, expose your day with visualization and repetition. You have to put some action to your intentions. Don't wait for your perfect day. Move toward it! Take action to make it happen. Start by controlling your reactions to any situation that comes your way. It's not the circumstances that matter most; it's your reaction to those circumstances that can make or break your perfect day.

As I mentioned before, this is what works for me. What works for you? If these techniques help you realize your perfect day (or even if they don't)feel free to write and let me know.

And if you want more information on how you can live your perfect day, listen to my radio show, Celebrate Life: Live Your Perfect Day!

Celebrate life!
Jean

Invest in You!

There's no better time than now to invest in you!

Take a moment to assess who you are. Are there areas you'd like to improve? Let me tell you of a time when I chose to invest in me.

Six years ago. My self-confidence and self-esteem were sadly lacking. I had come through a rough time in my life and I knew I needed to do something. But I had no idea what I needed to do. My first step was to read some self-help books. Our local library has books on tape and CD so I was thrilled that I could listen to them during the day while at work.

One day, as I was listening to a book by Cheryl Richardson, she mentioned that she'd gained public speaking skills through a group called Toastmasters. I'd never heard of it, but I was intrigued. That evening I 'googled' Toastmasters and found a club right here in my hometown. And they had a meeting that night.

Six years later, the rest is history.

However, that's not the best part. The best part is that I had no idea what I was getting into. Really. All I knew was that the people in the Burlington club were the kind of people I wanted to hang out with. So I joined. Later I found that joining a Toastmasters club was the best investment I could make in me. I found a freedom as I gained public speaking skills, confidence and my self-esteem grew.

Before long, I began to enjoy interacting with people on a personal level. Then I began looking forward to each time I was scheduled to give a prepared speech. (Believe me, early on, I really dreaded it...and, boy, did it make my stomach ache)!

Now, I feel honored when someone asks me to speak to their group. I think back to where I was and see how far I've come. And I look forward to the future and what it holds. I can't wait to see where this 'road' will take me!

Find a way to invest in yourself today. You never know where it'll take you.

Enjoy the ride.

Jean

Contact me for more information on what Toastmasters can do for you or visit www.toastmasters.org.

A Promise of Hope

I bought wildflower seeds today for a dollar.

I was in the store, shopping for only a few items, toiletries. Flower seeds were not on my list. However, when I saw them in a box on the shelf, I felt compelled to buy them. To me, they weren't just dry seeds, but a promise of hope.

Several days ago, in my doctor's office, I found that I would need to have surgery in the near future. It wasn't totally unexpected as I'd been having some symptoms and knew something would have to be done. Still, thinking of it, gave me an opportunity to pause, consider the loose ends in my life, and figure out how much time I might have to put things in order since I'll probably be out of commission for awhile.

The next few days I found myself working at a frenzied pace, trying to get ahead both at work and at home, preparing. Today, a small thing, a box of flower seeds, helped me to slow down a bit. I realized that, although I was accomplishing much, I wasn't doing much to prepare my body, soul and spirit for what lay ahead.

Do you have something coming up in your life that you need to prepare for? Are there stressors headed your way? Take time today to plan for taking care of you, inside and out. When we have rest and relaxation and peace of mind, we can face challenges so much better. In the store, when I picked up the box, I noticed the picture showed a myriad of flowers in luminous colors.

I already know in which part of the yard I plan to plant them in a few weeks when the weather turns warm. I visualize their radiance gracing the lawn, their unique scents filling the air as I walk through them marveling at their brilliance.

The walk, good for the body.
The scene, good for the soul.
The serenity, good for the spirit.

What I do know is that the promise the wildflowers bring is a promise of hope.

I bought wildflower seeds today for a dollar.

To me, they were priceless.

Jean

The Best Laid Plans

What is it they say about the "best laid plans of mice and men"? And just who are 'they' anyway?

This past week I found myself in the North Carolina mountains. Even before Spring fully arrives, the scenery is still beautiful to this city girl's eyes. However, this wasn't a planned trip nor was it a spur-of-the-moment vacation. I found myself there because my son had been admitted to one of the local hospitals. Yes, the "best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

As I drove the 4+ hours to get there, several cliches came to mind: 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade', and 'Every cloud has a silver lining'. So, in addition to the concern I felt for my son, I knew he was getting the best of care, therefore, during my stay, I took a few moments to make some lemonade and search for silver linings.

My efforts paid off. Not the first day I arrived, but later in the week as I felt more confident in my son's recovery, I began to notice a nearby wonderful creation, the Blue Ridge. If you've never seen this range of mountains, they're aptly named as they really do give the impression of being various shades of blue against the sky when you view them from a distance. Driving up the Blue Ridge Parkway to get a closer look, I took a few short walks to find some peace among gurgling brooks, daffodils, and a view that would take your breath away. I breathed in the crisp morning air, refreshing both my body and soul. The moments that I took to rejuvenate myself that day were not only a gift to me but a gift to those around me. I could be a better person, a better friend, a better mom when I allowed myself to embrace the peace of nature's offering.

What can you do today to find peace for your soul? You may not need to travel to the mountains or the beach. You may want to simply step out into your own backyard, close your eyes, listen to the singing of the birds, feel the warmth of the sun, breathe in the clean air.

Whatever is happening in your life, now is the time to take a moment for you.

If you look close enough, you just might find that your cloud has a silver lining.

Jean

Rome Wasn't Built in a Day

This French proverb from the late 1100's admonishes us to be patient. Some things simply take time, such as our journey toward a better life than the one we're living today. Just like the building of the great city of Rome, it may take time, patience and effort to reach our goals.

What are your goals? One of mine—and, yes, there are many—is to be content with who I am. In order to do this, I need to first decide what kind of person I want to be, then assess how far away I am from that person. Next, just like in building a great city, I need to make plans, to take steps toward my goal. For me, that means assessing every area of my life: my physical self and my spiritual being. Then, once I've decided what areas are lacking, making a game plan and going from there.

What about you? How can you make a difference in your life? Do you want to be a better student, teacher, parent, businessperson? Or do you want to be a better 'you'?

I challenge you to make your game plan today.

A building foreman never instructed his builders to work from a plan in his head; he studied an architect's drawing first and then formulated a game plan to make it happen. Whatever you want yourself to be, you can make it happen.

Rome wasn't built in a day. Your goals may not be reached in a day. But with patience and careful planning, you can make a positive difference in your life.

Jean

Hard Times Won't Last Forever!

What a comfort in realizing the hard times won't last forever!

Whatever you may be experiencing, whatever you may be going through, know that this, too, shall pass.

Several weeks ago I had surgery. It wasn't that difficult for me. After all, the doctor did all the work and I was asleep during the process. The 'hard part' for me was the few weeks afterward, the recuperation.

However, I'm now almost 6 weeks out from surgery, and the pain and discomfort pale in comparison to what I'm experiencing today, this beautiful day.

Today I choose to live in this moment to the fullest: to enjoy the sun as it beams down, warm, upon my face; to savor the taste of the evening meal I'll prepare later; to cherish the attention my little dog, Maxie, gives and the feel of her soft fur as she naps beside me.

Today, I've come to appreciate that the hard times--for me and for you--don't (and won't) last forever.

Carpe diem!
Jean

What a Difference a Day Makes!

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Today, March 2, 2009, I woke up to a glorious site: our neighborhood had been blanketed in 5 inches of snow. Living in the piedmont region of North Carolina, I don't have the privilege of enjoying sites like this every day, every month, or even every year. I can't tell you how many times I've felt a measure of disappointment when snow has been predicted and we've gotten only rain instead. Although I knew it was supposed to be this way (I had heard the weather reports and I had even seen the snow falling before going to bed last night), it was magical.

As I walked out into it, breathing in the crisp clean air and laughing as my dog gingerly stepped from the porch into a snowbank, my heart filled with the same joy and wonderment I'd felt as a child. Of course then my joy was two-fold: 1)Yippee, it snowed! 2) Yippee, no school!

My dog, Maxie, is a bit of a mutt. My mother refuses to think of her that way as she feels 'mutt' is a derogatory term; instead she calls her a 'designer dog'. (See a picture of Maxie on my website: www.jeanbaileyrobor.com). Whatever Maxie is, we do know that she has some terrier and Cocker Spaniel in her. But the best part of all is that she's so loveable! My daughter bought Maxie a coat, complete with a hood, with fur around the edges.

When the snow began falling, we realized the dog was more prepared for it than we were. None of us in the house had boots….we had not needed them in years; and I can't remember the last time I'd worn a heavy coat with a hood. Despite that, nothing could keep me from donning my heaviest jacket, strapping on my tennis shoes and walking through that myriad of beautiful glorious snowflakes.

What makes a positive difference in your day? Or rather, what do you allow to make a positive difference in your day? The snow outside gave me an opportunity to be glad or to be sad. I could have commiserated about the cold temperatures, the difficulty in driving, etc. Instead, I chose to be glad, to enjoy it, to admire the crystalline scenery.

As I sit at my desk, preparing for work, I'm grateful for these moments when my world is transformed into a wonderland and my heart is lifted in joy. By living 'in the moment', I've found pleasure and peace in something as simple as a change in the weather. While my joy may no longer be two-fold, I still feel that 'Yippee, it snowed!' excitement each time I look out the window.

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

I think I'll make a snow angel when I get home.

Jean

Out-of-Nowhere Blessings

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes and ways. And some of the best blessings are the unexpected ones, the ones that come out of nowhere.

Today I was unexpectedly blessed. I happened to be walking to a local Subway for lunch and passed an older gentleman on the street. His expression indicated he recognized me. I quickly scanned my memory but could not place him. Just as I was about to pass, he asked me if I attended a certain church in the area, which I do. As some churchgoers do, I regularly sit in the same section Sunday after Sunday. He does the same, just a few rows behind me.

On this day, he became a blessing to me. We chatted as we both walked to Subway, through the line, and—although I protested—he picked up the tab. I had planned to take my meal back to the office but somehow I found myself asking if he'd like to lunch with me. His face brightened up and we chose a nearby table.

Throughout the course of lunch, we talked about church, families, and blessings. He indicated how he had lived most of his life on a self-destructive course, but had now changed direction and found peace. He told of how some family relationships had been healed, of how he could now be a blessing to others.

As we went our separate ways, he mentioned how much he had enjoyed our impromptu lunch and that I had been a blessing to him.

Today, this gentleman was an unexpected blessing to me. His act of kindness reminded me, that I too, can be an unexpected, out-of-nowhere blessing to others.

And so can you!

Be blessed!
Jean

Coincidence?

What are coincidences, really? They are simply the 'stuff' that connects the events of our lives. Many times they are an 'ah-ha!' moment. Other times we think of a coincidence as a twist of fate, a fluke, an accident. I like to think of them as a Divine plan to boost my faith in Something (or Someone) greater than me.

According to Deepak Chopra, when you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities. When some circumstance comes into our lives, we should express our gratitude and explore the meaning of it. Then, we should dig deeper and connect with, not what it means, but what it could mean if we allow the possibility of the impossible.

When I choose to be grateful for the coincidences in my life, I find that they are less disruptive. I have a peace about them and about my life's direction. I don't let coincidences lead me, but I allow them to open up another choice, maybe something that I haven't seen or realized was there.

That 'stuff' that connects the events of my life are the same kinds of experiences that happen in yours. The delay to leave home in the morning only to realize if you'd been 'on time' you would have ended up in an auto accident. The 'close call' when you cross the street and saw a car speeding through the crosswalk 'just in time.' That event you choose to attend at the last minute, only to meet a life-long friend there.

I challenge you to express gratitude next time a coincidence comes your way. You may find you're part of a Divine plan, something greater than you could imagine!

Coincidentally yours,
Jean

Live NOW!

How often do you find yourself just going through the motions day after day only to find that a month has passed, a year has passed, a decade has passed without you really living?

Today I encourage you to live now, live in this moment.

Often it takes a wake-up call to persuade us to live. It may be a financial disaster, a divorce, the death of a loved one. It may be a terminal diagnosis. Sometimes these, and other, circumstances propel us to really live, to pursue our dreams, to realize them.

Why wait? Today is a good day to begin living, really living.

The Bible says, 'This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." It's easy to really live when you're rejoicing or celebrating.

Celebrate life! See each day as what it is, a gift! Begin the day by breathing in the fresh air, watching the sun rise, listening to birds sing. Savor that first cup or coffee, using that time to reflect, to be thankful, to plan your day. Be purposeful in your thoughts, in your intentions. Dream big and dream often. The glass isn't just half full, it's overflowing!

Each of us only lives once. Let's make this day, now, the best day it can be.

Really live it.

Live NOW!

Living life,
Jean

Let's Go Outside!

Remember how exciting it was when you were a youngster and someone would say, "Let's go outside!" It was a real treat.

Playing outside was so much more fun than being inside the house all day. Imaginations ran wild as stick horses turned into stallions, bicycles became motorcycles, and porches were miraculously transformed into army headquarters.

Outside! It was a beautiful thing.

Today the challenge is to go outside. Leave the computer, the television, the X-box, the Wii behind. Make a concerted effort to breathe in deeply the crisp clean air; feel it as it wafts across your skin; drink in the beauty of the world around you; close your eyes and listen, really listen to the sounds of nature. Those few moments, away from everything electronic (yes, leave that cell phone inside) will rejuvenate you and give you a sense of freedom from the stresses of life.

Your outside time should be pleasurable so no work allowed! Not unless, of course, you're raking up those leaves to take a flying leap into them!

Remember the joys of being outside. Relive those joys again.

Let's go outside!

Playfully yours,
Jean

Blessings in Disguise

I remember as I was growing up my mom used to use the phrase, 'blessing in disguise'. She was referring to those circumstances that we often find ourselves in that, at first, feel like a negative situation, but end up as a positive. Have you ever had a blessing in disguise?

Just this week, I had my very first ear infection. Let me just say, for those of you who have never experienced this, it certainly didn't feel like a blessing. However, it prompted me to slow down, take care of myself a bit, and pull away from the rat race for a short time. A blessing of self-care in disguise.

Another instance happened a few years ago. My son could no longer afford the private university he was attending unless he became very deep in debt. He weighed his options and began looking for alternatives. He wisely chose to enroll in a state-sponsored school. Two years later, at college, he met the woman he'll marry next year, with a lot less college load debt than he would have had. Their love for each other proves to me that this was another blessing in disguise.

This prompts me to question those (seemingly) bad things that come into my life. If I'm late going out the door and, on my way, see that there's been an accident on the highway, I often wonder…if I had been on time, would I have been involved in that accident? I've had instances where I did not get a position I applied for and years later the company has closed its doors. For me, that may have been a blessing in disguise.

As life goes on, I intend for positive circumstances. I embrace changes and look closely for the good that can come from those less-than-perfect circumstances I do find myself in. How do you see your circumstances? Could they simply be blessings in disguise?

Many blessings,
Jean

A Little Me-Time is a Good Thing!

How often do you find yourself doing so much for others that you seldom have time for yourself? Life often demands that we're stretched beyond our limits; however, if we schedule in a little me-time, we do ourselves and those around us a big favor. After all, who enjoys being stressed out or being around stressed out people?

Lately, I've been stretched to the limit. Life has demanded a lot of time and energy, meeting deadlines and dealing with a family member's illness. Today, I realized that I needed a little me-time to rejuvenate. If you're a busy person, you're probably due for a little me-time yourself.

What is 'me-time'? It can be a variety of things. Maybe it's taking time to walk through the park, alone or with a good friend. Maybe it's sitting in a local restaurant (as I'm doing right now), writing, putting your thoughts down. Maybe it's being alone in the house, playing piano. Maybe it's taking time for a nice massage, mani or pedi. Or, your preferred me-time could be taking the time to read a favorite book.

Just now, why not jot down a few ideas of what your me-time of choice might be? (Go ahead; I'll wait).

Now, pick one and, if necessary, put it on your calendar for next week. Treat that appointment as if it were as important as any other activity you've scheduled. And, most importantly, follow through.

A word of advice: Don't let anyone, even your own little voice, accuse you of being selfish. This is your time to revive, to rejuvenate, to better yourself so that you may serve others (and yourself) more productively.

A little me-time….it's a good thing.

Refreshingly yours,
Jean

Hidden Blessings

Sometimes the hard times come to you. Life throws you a curve ball. You feel like curling up in a ball, shutting out the world, crawling under a rock.

Sometimes the hard times come to you. Life throws you a curve ball. Instead of succumbing to self pity, you choose to take it, to experience it, to make it real, to learn from it, to move on.

We have a choice in how we deal with the tough times, the hard things, the disappointments. We've all had times like that. Life is full of disappointments. However, life is also full of joyful moments, many of which we have to intentionally allow into our lives.

Have you ever had a little thing, a very little thing, tick you off so much you felt the anger rise within you? Those little things that get under our skin can set the tone for the whole day. They can cause us to snap at our children, our co-workers, our significant others. What if, instead of allowing the anger to rise up, we chose to laugh at those little things, and to laugh at ourselves for allowing them to get under our skin? What if we chose to find humor in those situations instead? If so, we might find that when the really hard times come around we're better able to deal with them.

The key is to change little by little. Start small. It can make the difference in living a miserable life or in living a life full of joyful moments.

Enter......The JoyStream!

We can have freedom from stress, anxiety and depression. To free ourselves from these things, we can choose to enter The JoyStream. When we enter The JoyStream, we allow our Authentic Self to reveal itself. We find the hidden talents, the creativeness that we didn't realize we had or maybe had forgotten about.
Are you feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders today? Are you feeling down and downcast? Can you barely face the world and your many responsibilities or critical people?
Think back to a time when you were free to dream. When you had a real vision. Remember how free you felt, how enthusiastic about the future? God created you with that dream, that desire to achieve and succeed. Your circumstances, your environment and other people may have chipped away at your vision, your dream, until there's hardly anything left that resembles it.
If this sounds like you, you owe it to yourself to enter The JoyStream and make your life what it was intended to be.
To learn more, visit this website: www.thejoystream.com.