Let's Talk Toastmasters!

The first time I heard the word Toastmasters, I thought…..toast…..what? I’d never heard of Toastmasters International. And I lived in a town where a Toastmasters club had been around longer than I had! Sometimes the best things are the best kept secrets. Today, I want to let you in on this secret, which really isn’t a secret at all. Toastmasters International is an organization that helps its members develop and hone their leadership and communication skills.

First, let me take you back, over ten years ago, to where I was when I first darkened the door of my local Toastmasters club. I was in a really tough place in my life. A few years prior, my family had been torn apart by divorce. If you’ve ever been there and done that, you know what I’m talking about. It was a huge life-changing event that almost destroyed me. You can just imagine where my confidence and self esteem were after that. Yep, in the crapper. Can I say that here? That’s exactly where I was….lower than I’d ever been, with an emotional pain that manifested itself physically every single day. Finally, I became numb and was just going through the motions to move forward, keep my job and try to hold it together when my children were around. I was failing miserably.

After a few years of this, (yes, I said 'years') I happened to be sitting at my desk one day, in my little gray cubicle, listening to a book on CD. It was written by a life coach, CherylRichardson, who casually mentioned she’d learned to speak in public through Toastmasters. This gal wasn’t just any life coach. She was well known in her field and, later on, I’d see her on Oprah. But she’d planted a seed, sparked my interest, when she mentioned Toastmasters.

And I’d thought: Toast…what? I did what I often do when I hear about something new to me. I googled it. Found out there was a club meeting right here in my hometown that evening. I knew I had to be there, to check it out, to see what Cheryl was talking about.

Now, I wasn’t interested in public speaking. No way! I could hardly look someone in the eye when speaking one on one. And to give a presentation at work? Hey, if they’d asked me to do that, I probably would have found another job. (Seriously.)

So, I showed up at the club meeting, slinked into the back row of seats, and experienced my first taste of Toastmasters. I’d like to say that I saw the value of the Toastmasters educational program and signed up that night. For me, that wasn’t the case. Remember, I was in a very emotionally painful place. What I found that night was what I needed. 

And, I don’t know what you believe. But I believe, for me, it was a God-thing. Here’s why. I saw people with positive attitudes. I saw people that were rooting for each other to succeed. These Toastmasters, they applauded everything! (You Toastmasters out there are smiling right now, aren't you? Yeah, you know it's true.) The atmosphere made me feel good and the people were friendly.

I didn’t join that night. I went home and thought about it for a week. Because that’s just who I am. The next Monday night I showed up with a check in hand. I was in! (Shout out to Burlington Toastmasters!)

No one in my club knew why I joined. They didn’t know where I was in my life. All they knew was that I was a new member and they were determined to make me feel welcome and get me involved.

In that very first meeting, I’d seen a man give a really good speech. I’d told him I enjoyed it after the meeting. He told me something I’ll never forget. He said when he first visited the club, he’d sat in the back row just like I had. He said his fear of public speaking had been so great that he couldn’t even  stand up and introduce himself. Gosh, even I could do that! Probably not very well, but I stumbled through it. I was totally blown away by this guy’s confession. I’d just seen him get up in front of a group of people and give a good speech, without any apparent nervousness. Wow! So, during the week, from the time I visited to the time I joined, I thought about him. I thought of how far he’d come just by joining Toastmasters. And I decided if it could do that for him……then what could it do for me? I needed to find out.

Toastmasters was a part of what it took to get me from the broken place I was in, to where I am now. Did it cure my pain? No, it’s not about that. What it did was give me tools to make my life better, no matter where I chose to take it. The educational program helped me develop skills that affected my personal and professional life in a postitive way. I could communicate one on one more easily. I could speak up in meetings instead of being shut down by my own fear. And finally, and surprisingly, I found a real love for speaking  in public, something I never would have considered before Toastmasters or even as a new member. But I found a love for it because I saw how people can help other people best from the stage. You can inspire, motivate, teach and train so many people at once! And I knew that’s what I wanted to do.

Without my Toastmasters experience, I would have missed out on so much over the past ten years.

Life is so much better now, y'all. 

This is my personal take on Toastmasters. You can read my story in the book “Heart of aToastmaster” by Sheryl Roush. It's full of stories of people just like me, who found the benefit of Toastmasters for them.

To see where I am now, visit my website www.jeanbaileyrobor.com. Or look me up on SpeakerMatch.  Toastmasters has helped me stop putting limiting beliefs on me. And it’s helped me heal from some pretty deep wounds.

So, what’s in it for you? Are you ready to find out? Why not visit a meeting and see? Visit Toastmasters.org and find a club meeting near you. You might find more than one. Visit them all and see what’s the best fit.

Who knows? Maybe a year or two from now you’ll look back and see how your life is better because you took the initiative to invest in you through Toastmasters. And, if you do, let me know. 

Rock on, 

Jean

Jean Bailey Robor is that “No Buts About It” expert who simply wants you to lead happier, more successful lives. Getting past what’s holding you back and changing your mindset can put you on that path to better living. Click here to book Jean for your next event!

Happy New Year: Selling Yourself....Every Day

In some of my talks, I share with my audience how we sell ourselves every day. Before you say, "Naaa, I don't do that," bear with me and see how, intentional or not, you sell yourself.

Now, I'm not talking about 'selling out' or participating in the 'world's oldest profession.' I'm talking about the perception others have of you due to how you:

1. Speak
2. Treat others
3. Present Yourself

Do you speak words of wisdom and kindness? Do you treat others according to the Golden Rule? Do you present yourself like a professional or give in to emotions / whims? (Okay, y'all, maybe I do act on a whim once in a while...)

People are watching, and once you realize that, it may cause you to live life differently. You and I have an influence, good or bad, on others. And, now that we realize this, we can choose to accept it in the following ways:

• Acknowledge the truth and resolve to live life better.
• Acknowledge the truth and decide you really don't care.
• Dismiss the truth and continue to live your life just the way you are. (Which may be a fine way to live...or not.)

I was talking with a friend recently. He shared that a speaker who, on the surface, really seems to have it all together, has tarnished her 'professional' reputation in the way she handles her personal life in public: drunkenness, flying off the handle, being manipulative and devious. This is more than enough to prevent me from inviting her to speak to any organization or share the stage with me. In business, it's more than important to be able to trust those with whom you trust the reputation of your business.

So, it goes in life. No matter what business you're in, people are watching who YOU are. You truly are selling an image of yourself every day, who you are. And it matters.

Today, I happened to read a blog post by Darren LaCroix. If you aren't on Darren's Stage Time newsletter email list, sign up now. You can thank me later. In this particularly post, "Stage Time: Bill Cosby, O.J., and You?" Darren shares that we have an opportunity to influence others around us by example. He says: People close to us are watching our actions more closely than the words they hear us say. (Click here to read the entire post.)

You're still here? Seriously, go read Darren's post. He says it all.

And remember, you really do sell yourself every single day. You don't have to be perfect. Just be you, the authentic you. And make sure you're selling who you want the world to see.

Imperfect but working on it,

Jean

Jean Bailey Robor is that “No Buts About It” speaker who simply wants you to lead happier, more successful lives. Getting past what’s holding you back and changing your mindset can put you on that path to better living. Click here to book Jean for your next event!

Invest in You!

There's no better time than now to invest in you!

Take a moment to assess who you are. Are there areas you'd like to improve? Let me tell you of a time when I chose to invest in me.

Six years ago. My self-confidence and self-esteem were sadly lacking. I had come through a rough time in my life and I knew I needed to do something. But I had no idea what I needed to do. My first step was to read some self-help books. Our local library has books on tape and CD so I was thrilled that I could listen to them during the day while at work.

One day, as I was listening to a book by Cheryl Richardson, she mentioned that she'd gained public speaking skills through a group called Toastmasters. I'd never heard of it, but I was intrigued. That evening I 'googled' Toastmasters and found a club right here in my hometown. And they had a meeting that night.

Six years later, the rest is history.

However, that's not the best part. The best part is that I had no idea what I was getting into. Really. All I knew was that the people in the Burlington club were the kind of people I wanted to hang out with. So I joined. Later I found that joining a Toastmasters club was the best investment I could make in me. I found a freedom as I gained public speaking skills, confidence and my self-esteem grew.

Before long, I began to enjoy interacting with people on a personal level. Then I began looking forward to each time I was scheduled to give a prepared speech. (Believe me, early on, I really dreaded it...and, boy, did it make my stomach ache)!

Now, I feel honored when someone asks me to speak to their group. I think back to where I was and see how far I've come. And I look forward to the future and what it holds. I can't wait to see where this 'road' will take me!

Find a way to invest in yourself today. You never know where it'll take you.

Enjoy the ride.

Jean

Contact me for more information on what Toastmasters can do for you or visit www.toastmasters.org.