Something Very Real is Happening

I had to do it. I just couldn't believe it had taken me this long. There was no resistance. I'd just let life and laziness get in the way. That's the honest answer. So, finally, on what was to be the last night, I showed up at the Burlington Revival, an old-fashioned tent meeting in North Carolina that I was sure would take me back to my roots, days past of more than 30 years, when I'd worshiped God underneath a humble tent filled with like-minded worshipers.

I expected it to be a nostalgic experience. It was so much more!

If you haven't heard of the Burlington Revival, whether you are a believer or not, the story is fascinating. It was never meant to happen.

A local church planned a week-long revival, as some churches do, and invited an out-of-town evangelist as God's man of the hour.  Unbeknownst to them, it would be the beginning of something farther reaching than their church walls. And, unbeknownst to the surrounding community, members of this church had been praying for God to bring revival beyond their local congregation and into the community, for 10 to 15 years. Wait....what? God saw fit to answer their prayers in 2016. It began on Mother's Day, continued week after week until the church couldn't hold all the folks showing up, and moved to the big tent.

Now, maybe it's a coincidence (but I think not) that 2016 has brought an increase in violent crime in the area, and it appears to be gang-related. In fact, as the tent revival continues (yes, it's been extended), vigils have been and are being held in various locations, concerned citizens who are passionate to stop the violence.

Despite all the hurt and pain throughout our community, God is here. No doubt about it. Not just under the tent, but He is here in our hearts, making Himself more real than some of us have ever seen in our lifetimes.

So, last night, underneath the tent, not only did God show up, I did too.

As folks gathered the atmosphere was filled with expectancy. Even though I'd heard the crowds had filled the tent, even spilling over outside to the tune of 5,000+ people, I was amazed by the sight.

As one entity, we stood, clapped and sang. I felt a freedom to worship and it seemed no one held back. We experienced God, together. Then C.T. Townsend, the evangelist, took the stage. I was amazed by his passion coupled by humbleness as he gave God the glory for the great work He is doing in our community.

A thought came to me. We (our collective community) have a heart problem. Not just those of us who were sitting beneath the tent desiring for a closer walk with God, but also those who have been caught up in the violence, both the victims and the perpetrators. It's a heart problem.

Warning: I'm stepping up on my soapbox. Feel free to come along for the ride.

We, as a society, have 'preached' tolerance so loud and so long, we've gotten away from a lifestyle that promotes peace: Christianity. And, in the name of tolerance, we've become intolerant of those who call themselves Christians. We accept other religions as beautiful and shun this one. Even those of us who are Christians have been indoctrinated by this 'tolerance dogma' so much so that we feel apologetic (albeit ashamed?) of our faith and are resistant to freely worship the God we claim to love and serve. This, too, is a heart problem. (If you're a Christian, remember, Jesus said, "Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels." -Mark 8:38)

If our hearts were truly set toward God, if we desired and actively sought after what was best for ourselves, our families, our society, each other, if we put our own selfish desires aside, what a huge and wonderful difference it would make. (Hey, I'm talking to me as much as to whomever reads this.)

And it begins with one. With me. Join me? 

Last night I watched as over 30 people, young and old, male and female, a couple sets of twins, my friend's daughter, gather at the altar, making life-changing decisions. This is what our community needs, a change of hearts. (Thanks to the folks of that local congregation, New Hope Baptist Church, Pastor Randy Hobbs and other folks that prayed.)

In today's world, we aren't always open to change, to what is different from our norm. Some may look at what's happening beneath the tent, the type of worship, and think, "Yeah, I'm a Christian, but that's just not my thing." And that's okay. Worship comes in many forms. Worship in the way God has given you to worship, whether it's quieter, louder, more contemporary, just worship and adore Him. And know, that whether it's 'your thing' or not, a good work is being done and it's time for Christians to celebrate together, in spirit and in truth, for the good of our community and all mankind. After all, we won't be in separate corners in Heaven so let's allow the love of God within our hearts today to bring us together, for God's purpose, here on Earth.

Stepping down off the soapbox now. Thanks for coming along for the ride. 

And now, the rest of the story...
As the service under the tent concluded, those who had rode shuttles were urged to leave first as a storm was coming which was indicative of the thunder beginning to roar. My friend, her daughter and I exited the tent and made a beeline for an empty van. Just as we filled it up, we learned that that vehicle was not one of the shuttles. Oops! (Apologies to whomever owns that van.) By the time we exited there was a long line of folks waiting for shuttles. Now we were at the back of the line. And now, as the lightning, thunder and wind picked up, the skies began to pour. I told my friend's daughter, "Not only did you get saved tonight, now you're getting baptized!" Seeing a group of people running toward a small tent for shelter, we followed suit. Huddled beneath the tent, drenched to the bone, I noticed it was held up with metal rods and the lightning was raging. I didn't speak it but I thought, "Well, if God sees fit, He could take us all home in one fell swoop." (I did ease a bit further from the metal pole beside me.) As the next round of shuttles came down the road, my friend's daughter (a teenager) took off running. We ran too. Now, somehow, before I took off, I was under the delusion I could keep up with a teenager. Obviously, the rain had seeped into my brain and distorted my thinking. Still, we managed to get there and, thankfully, took our seats. Hallelujah! I reckon God decided to spare us for another day. And I'm perfectly okay with that.

Much love, no apologies,
Jean

Jean Bailey Robor, author of She Has a Big 'But'! Get Past Your Excuses & Realize Your Dreams, is available for conferences, keynotes and workshops. View her profile and book her on SpeakerMatch.com or contact her via email to set up a time to talk.

 

What Every Man Should Know

Recently, I was completely blown away by the revelations of a man who had been married, is now divorced, and offered advice that's suitable to men who desire to have a healthy and happy marital relationship. It was re-posted on Facebook and some responses from women were: "I melted when I read your post!" and "I hope this saves marriages." And a man responded: "Words to learn and live by." So, of course, I have to share this with you. Read on...

MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about going through divorce that gives you perspective of things you wish you would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If you get frustrated or angry, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8) Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel loved.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fear and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, and part of that courage is allowing her to love your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is for a relationship that isn’t focused on growing. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. Forgiveness is freedom. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

You can find the original post here.

Whether you agree with every point shared, I hope you find some truth that will make your current or future relationship happier, healthier and stronger. After all, life is short. Live it well. Celebrate life!

To your relationship success,

Jean

Something Is At Work Here

Fate?
Coincidence?
Or maybe something more.
In my home, we use natural gas for our heating unit and water heater. So, one summer day a few weeks ago, when there was no hot water, my first thought was Oh no! Cold showers! My second thought was I hope I don't have to replace the water heater. Besides, it didn't seem like that long ago, maybe a few years, since this water heater was purchased. Surely, they last longer than that.

I called the gas company to come and check it. Now, you might have guessed that I would first check it out a bit myself. But, no. After all, that thing is down in the creepy basement and, frankly, that basement with its dark corners and crawl spaces, creeps me out. (Hence, it's 'creepy.') So, let someone who's getting paid to creep around down there check it out. (Some days I'm such a girl.)

The guy from the gas company came over and simply re-lit the pilot light. Voila! Hot water! He took a look around and couldn't figure out why the pilot light had gone out. Everything seemed to be working just fine. And this is where fate, coincidence or something more comes in.

I had followed him down to the basement. (It's never as creepy when someone else is with you and in broad daylight.) We talked about the water heater and then he voiced another concern. "I think you need to have a heating & air technician check out your furnace there." The furnace is the heating unit that I refer to as the big, green monster. It's a big green metal box-like thing that's been in the house longer than I have. So when he pointed out the soot on the side and voiced his concern, I took heed. I called Steve who regularly services it each year. And, every year, he's a little surprised that the old thing is still alive and kicking.

When he came out to check it, this is what he found, minus the technician lingo: the big, green monster had to go. Not only that, but it was emitting carbon monoxide. Steve told us that meant, if we had turned it on, sure it would have heated the house, but we might have died in our sleep. The whole family.

The thought of my family members at risk, in our home, which should be a safe haven, was sobering.

Now, I don't know why the pilot light went out on the water heater. I don't know why the man from the gas company just happened to notice the soot on the heating unit. All I know is that this series of events may have saved not just my life, but all our lives.

There's no doubt. Something is at work here.

Some people will call it fate.
Some may call it a series of coincidences.
Forever, I'll call it a God thing.

It's true: Romans 8:28 says, "All things work together for good to them that love God..." In the beginning, having cold water was a minor frustration. (At least until I stepped into the cold shower, then major frustration!) Thinking of buying a new water heater was a bit more frustrating. In the end, replacing the heating unit, despite the inconvience and financial burden, was a blessing.

In my heart, there is no doubt.
It's a God thing.

Keeping the faith,
Jean

Out-of-Nowhere Blessings

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes and ways. And some of the best blessings are the unexpected ones, the ones that come out of nowhere.

Today I was unexpectedly blessed. I happened to be walking to a local Subway for lunch and passed an older gentleman on the street. His expression indicated he recognized me. I quickly scanned my memory but could not place him. Just as I was about to pass, he asked me if I attended a certain church in the area, which I do. As some churchgoers do, I regularly sit in the same section Sunday after Sunday. He does the same, just a few rows behind me.

On this day, he became a blessing to me. We chatted as we both walked to Subway, through the line, and—although I protested—he picked up the tab. I had planned to take my meal back to the office but somehow I found myself asking if he'd like to lunch with me. His face brightened up and we chose a nearby table.

Throughout the course of lunch, we talked about church, families, and blessings. He indicated how he had lived most of his life on a self-destructive course, but had now changed direction and found peace. He told of how some family relationships had been healed, of how he could now be a blessing to others.

As we went our separate ways, he mentioned how much he had enjoyed our impromptu lunch and that I had been a blessing to him.

Today, this gentleman was an unexpected blessing to me. His act of kindness reminded me, that I too, can be an unexpected, out-of-nowhere blessing to others.

And so can you!

Be blessed!
Jean

Blessings in Disguise

I remember as I was growing up my mom used to use the phrase, 'blessing in disguise'. She was referring to those circumstances that we often find ourselves in that, at first, feel like a negative situation, but end up as a positive. Have you ever had a blessing in disguise?

Just this week, I had my very first ear infection. Let me just say, for those of you who have never experienced this, it certainly didn't feel like a blessing. However, it prompted me to slow down, take care of myself a bit, and pull away from the rat race for a short time. A blessing of self-care in disguise.

Another instance happened a few years ago. My son could no longer afford the private university he was attending unless he became very deep in debt. He weighed his options and began looking for alternatives. He wisely chose to enroll in a state-sponsored school. Two years later, at college, he met the woman he'll marry next year, with a lot less college load debt than he would have had. Their love for each other proves to me that this was another blessing in disguise.

This prompts me to question those (seemingly) bad things that come into my life. If I'm late going out the door and, on my way, see that there's been an accident on the highway, I often wonder…if I had been on time, would I have been involved in that accident? I've had instances where I did not get a position I applied for and years later the company has closed its doors. For me, that may have been a blessing in disguise.

As life goes on, I intend for positive circumstances. I embrace changes and look closely for the good that can come from those less-than-perfect circumstances I do find myself in. How do you see your circumstances? Could they simply be blessings in disguise?

Many blessings,
Jean

Hidden Blessings

Sometimes the hard times come to you. Life throws you a curve ball. You feel like curling up in a ball, shutting out the world, crawling under a rock.

Sometimes the hard times come to you. Life throws you a curve ball. Instead of succumbing to self pity, you choose to take it, to experience it, to make it real, to learn from it, to move on.

We have a choice in how we deal with the tough times, the hard things, the disappointments. We've all had times like that. Life is full of disappointments. However, life is also full of joyful moments, many of which we have to intentionally allow into our lives.

Have you ever had a little thing, a very little thing, tick you off so much you felt the anger rise within you? Those little things that get under our skin can set the tone for the whole day. They can cause us to snap at our children, our co-workers, our significant others. What if, instead of allowing the anger to rise up, we chose to laugh at those little things, and to laugh at ourselves for allowing them to get under our skin? What if we chose to find humor in those situations instead? If so, we might find that when the really hard times come around we're better able to deal with them.

The key is to change little by little. Start small. It can make the difference in living a miserable life or in living a life full of joyful moments.