Wanna Be

Have you ever wanted to be something or someone you’re not? Then you know how I feel.

When I was a child, I was short. You too? My family called me “Little Jean.” My friends called me “short.” My mom called me “petite.” She still does. Yes, I haven’t changed much. I stopped growing (vertically) when I was in 9^th grade, topping out at 5’2”. (I wish I’d stopped growing horizontally!)

If you happen to look at any group pictures I’m in, especially family pics, chances are I’m the most vertically challenged. When I give presentations, I’m the one that steps out from behind the lectern. Not just because I’m brave. Those things make me feel short. (Lecterns with fixed mics are not my friend.) And, for all you tall fellas out there, I’m the girl in the grocery store that asks you, “Please, can you reach that box of Cheerios on the top shelf?” And for some of you tall fellas out there, that is not a clever way to get to meet you; I really CAN’T reach that high. (But, every once in a while, when no one’s looking, I can climb that high. Shhh….don’t tell the folks at Wal-Mart!)

So, this morning, as I was walking into work on a bright and sunny day, I was thrilled to see this wanna be tall & skinny girl had achieved her life-long dream. There I was, as plain as day, on the sidewalks of downtown Burlington, my tall and skinny shadow proclaiming my transformation. And, wow, was it tall and skinny! I mean, I was looking good in all my silhouetted 7-ft glory. I even felt my step get a little lighter, my posture improve and the early morning brain fog begin to lift. All because I saw myself, not so much the way I am but the way I want to be.

In reality, of course, I had not grown one inch. In reality, I will never grow taller, except when I step into a pair of high, high, really high heels. In reality, I could grow skinnier. (Never hurts to dream!)

Now, if I go out at noon, my shadow will be equally as deceiving: shorter and wider. Ouch! And that perception of me will not raise my spirits.

Today, I realized that even if there are things I cannot change, it’s okay. I need to accept them and move on. For those things I can change, I continually identify them and make a plan to change them. No matter what, I try my best to keep my eye on the end goal. Sure, there may be times when, like that shorter and wider shadow, I lose my focus and can’t see past the negativity. It happens. It may happen to you too. A good way to get past that is to evaluate, every day, your growth and progress toward your success. If you aren’t growing, you aren’t going anywhere.

Sometimes we have to accept who we are in order to move on successfully. Sometimes we can become who we want to be and that moves us closer to success. Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is two-fold:

1. What unchangeable thing can you identify today and choose to accept?
2.  What can you change to move closer to success and how will you do that, starting now?

Yes, I’m a wanna be. And each day I’m moving closer to what and who I want to be. Are you?

Jean

Limiting Yourself?

"I'll never lose weight."
"I'm sure I won't win."
"I can't."
"I'm too ___ to succeed."

Have you ever been guilty of limiting yourself? Of thinking negative thoughts, speaking negative words that hold you back from your full potential? If so, it's time to put them aside and get on with it!

Realize how much better life can be when, instead of tearing yourself down, you build yourself up. There is enough negativity in the world coming at you every day. Don't wait for others to build you up; do it yourself. Realize YOU are a child of God, made in His image, and in order to go about His business effectively, you need a good self image, confidence and belief in God and His creation: You!

Limiting beliefs can hold you back from your dreams, can lessen your influence with others and can lead to a mediocre life that had the potential of greatness.

Today's challenge: Whenever you begin to belittle yourself, take a moment to replace those thoughts/words with something positive. After awhile, you'll find that your negative thinking is gradually being replaced. You'll feel better about yourself. You'll be a better friend, a better spouse, a better parent, a better business person.

But, don't take MY word for it. In the words of Nike: Just Do It!

Positively yours,
Jean

Merry Christmas!

As you go through this holiday season, take time to enjoy those special moments, those moments with family and friends. Take comfort in knowing your gifts of friendship and love are long-lasting and make the greatest impact. I don't remember much about the gifts I've received over the years as much as I appreciated them. But I do remember the happy times, the joys shared with loved ones. And, at Christmastime, that has made all the difference.


While there may be moments when you feel sadness, maybe memories of a loved one no longer with you bring a tear to your eye, know that this Christmas brings great potential for happiness, and you have the power to make that happen. Over the years, I’ve found several ways that help take my loneliness out of Christmas and today, I’ll share 3 of them as my Christmas gift to you.

1. Feed your soul- Use the time you may have away from work and other activities to feed your soul. So often I find myself neglecting the spiritual part of me. (Not to mention the physical part, but that’s a whole nuther story)! We have so many resources at the ready to provide encouragement, healing, uplifting of our souls. Reading a scripture, singing or listening to soothing music, spending some quiet time in meditation and prayer. These are ways that I’ve found rejuvenate me and feed my soul. Sometimes, and this is really fun, putting on some upbeat Christmas music while I bake Christmas goodies does the trick. Now, does this keep me from feeling sad? Not completely. Often a Christmas song will evoke a precious memory, but there’s joy within the sadness, and the memories are sweet.


2. Give to others- There is so much joy in giving to others. Whether you provide a monetary gift to the less fortunate or donate food, toys or clothes, you’ll receive a blessing. And, you know, sometimes if the recipient of our gifts aren’t all they appear to be, it makes us feel bad. If that happens, know that you gave for the right reasons and bask in that knowledge. And know that, because you gave, you’ll be blessed. Helping others at Christmas and all year through is really what it’s all about and, when you give, that echoes the gift of God’s son, Jesus, whom we celebrate. He truly is the reason for the season. Celebrate Him by giving to others.


3. Host your own party- If you find that you’ll be alone on Christmas (and you’d prefer to enjoy the company of others), don’t wait for an invitation, host a party. Several years ago, I began inviting friends, family & neighbors over on Christmas evening for hors d'oeuvres and a time of fellowship. Nothing fancy. Nothing that took a lot of preparation. (Of course, it did force me to clean the house)! Some years there are few that show and it’s a cozy and intimate time. Some years there are many and a more party-like atmosphere. Every year, it’s a time of happiness and joy. Now, it’s become one of my Christmas traditions. And one that I, and others, thoroughly enjoy. All because I didn’t want to feel lonely at Christmas.
   
   So, if you find yourself feeling less than joyful this Christmas season, I hope that what I’ve found to help me will help you as well. After all, Christmas only comes once a year; enjoy the joy of Christmas! Bask in it!

Merry Christmas!

Jean

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Invest in You!

There's no better time than now to invest in you!

Take a moment to assess who you are. Are there areas you'd like to improve? Let me tell you of a time when I chose to invest in me.

Six years ago. My self-confidence and self-esteem were sadly lacking. I had come through a rough time in my life and I knew I needed to do something. But I had no idea what I needed to do. My first step was to read some self-help books. Our local library has books on tape and CD so I was thrilled that I could listen to them during the day while at work.

One day, as I was listening to a book by Cheryl Richardson, she mentioned that she'd gained public speaking skills through a group called Toastmasters. I'd never heard of it, but I was intrigued. That evening I 'googled' Toastmasters and found a club right here in my hometown. And they had a meeting that night.

Six years later, the rest is history.

However, that's not the best part. The best part is that I had no idea what I was getting into. Really. All I knew was that the people in the Burlington club were the kind of people I wanted to hang out with. So I joined. Later I found that joining a Toastmasters club was the best investment I could make in me. I found a freedom as I gained public speaking skills, confidence and my self-esteem grew.

Before long, I began to enjoy interacting with people on a personal level. Then I began looking forward to each time I was scheduled to give a prepared speech. (Believe me, early on, I really dreaded it...and, boy, did it make my stomach ache)!

Now, I feel honored when someone asks me to speak to their group. I think back to where I was and see how far I've come. And I look forward to the future and what it holds. I can't wait to see where this 'road' will take me!

Find a way to invest in yourself today. You never know where it'll take you.

Enjoy the ride.

Jean

Contact me for more information on what Toastmasters can do for you or visit www.toastmasters.org.

A Promise of Hope

I bought wildflower seeds today for a dollar.

I was in the store, shopping for only a few items, toiletries. Flower seeds were not on my list. However, when I saw them in a box on the shelf, I felt compelled to buy them. To me, they weren't just dry seeds, but a promise of hope.

Several days ago, in my doctor's office, I found that I would need to have surgery in the near future. It wasn't totally unexpected as I'd been having some symptoms and knew something would have to be done. Still, thinking of it, gave me an opportunity to pause, consider the loose ends in my life, and figure out how much time I might have to put things in order since I'll probably be out of commission for awhile.

The next few days I found myself working at a frenzied pace, trying to get ahead both at work and at home, preparing. Today, a small thing, a box of flower seeds, helped me to slow down a bit. I realized that, although I was accomplishing much, I wasn't doing much to prepare my body, soul and spirit for what lay ahead.

Do you have something coming up in your life that you need to prepare for? Are there stressors headed your way? Take time today to plan for taking care of you, inside and out. When we have rest and relaxation and peace of mind, we can face challenges so much better. In the store, when I picked up the box, I noticed the picture showed a myriad of flowers in luminous colors.

I already know in which part of the yard I plan to plant them in a few weeks when the weather turns warm. I visualize their radiance gracing the lawn, their unique scents filling the air as I walk through them marveling at their brilliance.

The walk, good for the body.
The scene, good for the soul.
The serenity, good for the spirit.

What I do know is that the promise the wildflowers bring is a promise of hope.

I bought wildflower seeds today for a dollar.

To me, they were priceless.

Jean

The Best Laid Plans

What is it they say about the "best laid plans of mice and men"? And just who are 'they' anyway?

This past week I found myself in the North Carolina mountains. Even before Spring fully arrives, the scenery is still beautiful to this city girl's eyes. However, this wasn't a planned trip nor was it a spur-of-the-moment vacation. I found myself there because my son had been admitted to one of the local hospitals. Yes, the "best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

As I drove the 4+ hours to get there, several cliches came to mind: 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade', and 'Every cloud has a silver lining'. So, in addition to the concern I felt for my son, I knew he was getting the best of care, therefore, during my stay, I took a few moments to make some lemonade and search for silver linings.

My efforts paid off. Not the first day I arrived, but later in the week as I felt more confident in my son's recovery, I began to notice a nearby wonderful creation, the Blue Ridge. If you've never seen this range of mountains, they're aptly named as they really do give the impression of being various shades of blue against the sky when you view them from a distance. Driving up the Blue Ridge Parkway to get a closer look, I took a few short walks to find some peace among gurgling brooks, daffodils, and a view that would take your breath away. I breathed in the crisp morning air, refreshing both my body and soul. The moments that I took to rejuvenate myself that day were not only a gift to me but a gift to those around me. I could be a better person, a better friend, a better mom when I allowed myself to embrace the peace of nature's offering.

What can you do today to find peace for your soul? You may not need to travel to the mountains or the beach. You may want to simply step out into your own backyard, close your eyes, listen to the singing of the birds, feel the warmth of the sun, breathe in the clean air.

Whatever is happening in your life, now is the time to take a moment for you.

If you look close enough, you just might find that your cloud has a silver lining.

Jean

Rome Wasn't Built in a Day

This French proverb from the late 1100's admonishes us to be patient. Some things simply take time, such as our journey toward a better life than the one we're living today. Just like the building of the great city of Rome, it may take time, patience and effort to reach our goals.

What are your goals? One of mine—and, yes, there are many—is to be content with who I am. In order to do this, I need to first decide what kind of person I want to be, then assess how far away I am from that person. Next, just like in building a great city, I need to make plans, to take steps toward my goal. For me, that means assessing every area of my life: my physical self and my spiritual being. Then, once I've decided what areas are lacking, making a game plan and going from there.

What about you? How can you make a difference in your life? Do you want to be a better student, teacher, parent, businessperson? Or do you want to be a better 'you'?

I challenge you to make your game plan today.

A building foreman never instructed his builders to work from a plan in his head; he studied an architect's drawing first and then formulated a game plan to make it happen. Whatever you want yourself to be, you can make it happen.

Rome wasn't built in a day. Your goals may not be reached in a day. But with patience and careful planning, you can make a positive difference in your life.

Jean

What a Difference a Day Makes!

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Today, March 2, 2009, I woke up to a glorious site: our neighborhood had been blanketed in 5 inches of snow. Living in the piedmont region of North Carolina, I don't have the privilege of enjoying sites like this every day, every month, or even every year. I can't tell you how many times I've felt a measure of disappointment when snow has been predicted and we've gotten only rain instead. Although I knew it was supposed to be this way (I had heard the weather reports and I had even seen the snow falling before going to bed last night), it was magical.

As I walked out into it, breathing in the crisp clean air and laughing as my dog gingerly stepped from the porch into a snowbank, my heart filled with the same joy and wonderment I'd felt as a child. Of course then my joy was two-fold: 1)Yippee, it snowed! 2) Yippee, no school!

My dog, Maxie, is a bit of a mutt. My mother refuses to think of her that way as she feels 'mutt' is a derogatory term; instead she calls her a 'designer dog'. (See a picture of Maxie on my website: www.jeanbaileyrobor.com). Whatever Maxie is, we do know that she has some terrier and Cocker Spaniel in her. But the best part of all is that she's so loveable! My daughter bought Maxie a coat, complete with a hood, with fur around the edges.

When the snow began falling, we realized the dog was more prepared for it than we were. None of us in the house had boots….we had not needed them in years; and I can't remember the last time I'd worn a heavy coat with a hood. Despite that, nothing could keep me from donning my heaviest jacket, strapping on my tennis shoes and walking through that myriad of beautiful glorious snowflakes.

What makes a positive difference in your day? Or rather, what do you allow to make a positive difference in your day? The snow outside gave me an opportunity to be glad or to be sad. I could have commiserated about the cold temperatures, the difficulty in driving, etc. Instead, I chose to be glad, to enjoy it, to admire the crystalline scenery.

As I sit at my desk, preparing for work, I'm grateful for these moments when my world is transformed into a wonderland and my heart is lifted in joy. By living 'in the moment', I've found pleasure and peace in something as simple as a change in the weather. While my joy may no longer be two-fold, I still feel that 'Yippee, it snowed!' excitement each time I look out the window.

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

I think I'll make a snow angel when I get home.

Jean

Coincidence?

What are coincidences, really? They are simply the 'stuff' that connects the events of our lives. Many times they are an 'ah-ha!' moment. Other times we think of a coincidence as a twist of fate, a fluke, an accident. I like to think of them as a Divine plan to boost my faith in Something (or Someone) greater than me.

According to Deepak Chopra, when you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities. When some circumstance comes into our lives, we should express our gratitude and explore the meaning of it. Then, we should dig deeper and connect with, not what it means, but what it could mean if we allow the possibility of the impossible.

When I choose to be grateful for the coincidences in my life, I find that they are less disruptive. I have a peace about them and about my life's direction. I don't let coincidences lead me, but I allow them to open up another choice, maybe something that I haven't seen or realized was there.

That 'stuff' that connects the events of my life are the same kinds of experiences that happen in yours. The delay to leave home in the morning only to realize if you'd been 'on time' you would have ended up in an auto accident. The 'close call' when you cross the street and saw a car speeding through the crosswalk 'just in time.' That event you choose to attend at the last minute, only to meet a life-long friend there.

I challenge you to express gratitude next time a coincidence comes your way. You may find you're part of a Divine plan, something greater than you could imagine!

Coincidentally yours,
Jean

Live NOW!

How often do you find yourself just going through the motions day after day only to find that a month has passed, a year has passed, a decade has passed without you really living?

Today I encourage you to live now, live in this moment.

Often it takes a wake-up call to persuade us to live. It may be a financial disaster, a divorce, the death of a loved one. It may be a terminal diagnosis. Sometimes these, and other, circumstances propel us to really live, to pursue our dreams, to realize them.

Why wait? Today is a good day to begin living, really living.

The Bible says, 'This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." It's easy to really live when you're rejoicing or celebrating.

Celebrate life! See each day as what it is, a gift! Begin the day by breathing in the fresh air, watching the sun rise, listening to birds sing. Savor that first cup or coffee, using that time to reflect, to be thankful, to plan your day. Be purposeful in your thoughts, in your intentions. Dream big and dream often. The glass isn't just half full, it's overflowing!

Each of us only lives once. Let's make this day, now, the best day it can be.

Really live it.

Live NOW!

Living life,
Jean

Let's Go Outside!

Remember how exciting it was when you were a youngster and someone would say, "Let's go outside!" It was a real treat.

Playing outside was so much more fun than being inside the house all day. Imaginations ran wild as stick horses turned into stallions, bicycles became motorcycles, and porches were miraculously transformed into army headquarters.

Outside! It was a beautiful thing.

Today the challenge is to go outside. Leave the computer, the television, the X-box, the Wii behind. Make a concerted effort to breathe in deeply the crisp clean air; feel it as it wafts across your skin; drink in the beauty of the world around you; close your eyes and listen, really listen to the sounds of nature. Those few moments, away from everything electronic (yes, leave that cell phone inside) will rejuvenate you and give you a sense of freedom from the stresses of life.

Your outside time should be pleasurable so no work allowed! Not unless, of course, you're raking up those leaves to take a flying leap into them!

Remember the joys of being outside. Relive those joys again.

Let's go outside!

Playfully yours,
Jean

Blessings in Disguise

I remember as I was growing up my mom used to use the phrase, 'blessing in disguise'. She was referring to those circumstances that we often find ourselves in that, at first, feel like a negative situation, but end up as a positive. Have you ever had a blessing in disguise?

Just this week, I had my very first ear infection. Let me just say, for those of you who have never experienced this, it certainly didn't feel like a blessing. However, it prompted me to slow down, take care of myself a bit, and pull away from the rat race for a short time. A blessing of self-care in disguise.

Another instance happened a few years ago. My son could no longer afford the private university he was attending unless he became very deep in debt. He weighed his options and began looking for alternatives. He wisely chose to enroll in a state-sponsored school. Two years later, at college, he met the woman he'll marry next year, with a lot less college load debt than he would have had. Their love for each other proves to me that this was another blessing in disguise.

This prompts me to question those (seemingly) bad things that come into my life. If I'm late going out the door and, on my way, see that there's been an accident on the highway, I often wonder…if I had been on time, would I have been involved in that accident? I've had instances where I did not get a position I applied for and years later the company has closed its doors. For me, that may have been a blessing in disguise.

As life goes on, I intend for positive circumstances. I embrace changes and look closely for the good that can come from those less-than-perfect circumstances I do find myself in. How do you see your circumstances? Could they simply be blessings in disguise?

Many blessings,
Jean

A Little Me-Time is a Good Thing!

How often do you find yourself doing so much for others that you seldom have time for yourself? Life often demands that we're stretched beyond our limits; however, if we schedule in a little me-time, we do ourselves and those around us a big favor. After all, who enjoys being stressed out or being around stressed out people?

Lately, I've been stretched to the limit. Life has demanded a lot of time and energy, meeting deadlines and dealing with a family member's illness. Today, I realized that I needed a little me-time to rejuvenate. If you're a busy person, you're probably due for a little me-time yourself.

What is 'me-time'? It can be a variety of things. Maybe it's taking time to walk through the park, alone or with a good friend. Maybe it's sitting in a local restaurant (as I'm doing right now), writing, putting your thoughts down. Maybe it's being alone in the house, playing piano. Maybe it's taking time for a nice massage, mani or pedi. Or, your preferred me-time could be taking the time to read a favorite book.

Just now, why not jot down a few ideas of what your me-time of choice might be? (Go ahead; I'll wait).

Now, pick one and, if necessary, put it on your calendar for next week. Treat that appointment as if it were as important as any other activity you've scheduled. And, most importantly, follow through.

A word of advice: Don't let anyone, even your own little voice, accuse you of being selfish. This is your time to revive, to rejuvenate, to better yourself so that you may serve others (and yourself) more productively.

A little me-time….it's a good thing.

Refreshingly yours,
Jean

Enter......The JoyStream!

We can have freedom from stress, anxiety and depression. To free ourselves from these things, we can choose to enter The JoyStream. When we enter The JoyStream, we allow our Authentic Self to reveal itself. We find the hidden talents, the creativeness that we didn't realize we had or maybe had forgotten about.
Are you feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders today? Are you feeling down and downcast? Can you barely face the world and your many responsibilities or critical people?
Think back to a time when you were free to dream. When you had a real vision. Remember how free you felt, how enthusiastic about the future? God created you with that dream, that desire to achieve and succeed. Your circumstances, your environment and other people may have chipped away at your vision, your dream, until there's hardly anything left that resembles it.
If this sounds like you, you owe it to yourself to enter The JoyStream and make your life what it was intended to be.
To learn more, visit this website: www.thejoystream.com.