He Saved Me from a Shower

A couple of days ago, I went with a few guys from the office to the building next door for lunch. There’s a little catering business in there and they’ve accommodated us by setting up a cafeteria-style line four days a week. On this particular day, we took the 3-minute hike over and enjoyed a nice lunch. Just as we prepared to leave, the bottom fell out. Now, for you Southerners, I’m sure you know that means: it was raining outdoors. And not a little wimpy Spring shower, but raining cats and dogs! (Another popular expression which may or may not be limited by these here Southern borders.)

There we were, staring through the glass door, having conversations such as:

“I think the sky’s lightening up; maybe it’ll stop soon.”

“What the….It’s only supposed to be a 30% chance of rain!”

“I can’t believe I left my umbrella at my desk!”

“I can’t believe I’m gonna be sitting at my desk the rest of the afternoon, cold and wet.”

“Dang. The closest Uber is 15 minutes away.” (This from the guy from San Diego)

“Really? North Carolina has Uber?”

FYI- In case you haven’t heard of Uber, this company boasts rides that are “better, faster, and cheaper than a taxi.” 

There we stood, forlorn, as the rain continued to pelt the pavement before us.

Apparently, the guy at the security desk took pity on us. He handed us a brand new umbrella, saying, “Here you go. Just bring it back the next time you come in.”

Simple. Straight-forward. Saving me, and my buddies, from a mid-day shower. (And one that was none too warm.) On the way back, San Diego said, “That would never happen in California. People here are so nice.” It made me feel good that one of my North Carolinians had represented our Southern hospitality so well. By now we were heading out the door, the sky really was lightening up a bit, and the security guard had returned to his desk.

Have you ever just wanted to turn around and hug somebody? In that moment, I felt just like that. And while I didn’t hug him, I thought, what can I do to brighten up this security guard’s day? The answer came as I was preparing to return the umbrella the following day. I stopped by the store, bought some fresh chocolate chip cookies, enough for him and his coworkers. It was a small price to pay to be saved from a rain shower.

The smile on his face was all it took to know I’d made his day. It warmed my heart.

My favorite Leo Buscaglia quote sums it up best: "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

You have the power to turn a life around. Every day your choices can make or break another person’s day. A simple choice to extend a smile, a helping hand, or a prayer, might just make someone’s day and save them from a cold rain shower or something more. 

And somehow, I believe, when you do that, you’ll make God smile.

Jean

Learning Life Lessons in Unlikely Places

Last weekend I took my granddaughter to the Burlington City Park for an Easter Egg hunt. The best part was that the first hunt would be for children ages 2-5. Maddie is 3. Perfect! Without all the older kids on the field vying for eggs, she was sure to get a few to put into her basket. 

When we arrived, all the kids and parents were lined up in a HUGE circle with a TON of brilliantly colored eggs gracing the field. We all stood at the ready, waiting for the sign when we could converge upon the shiny orbs and make them ours. Maddie and I were just 3 deep in line from the closest eggs. 

I've never seen anything like it, y'all. When it was time to 'hunt,' the sea of humans overtook those eggs and in less than a minute, the game was over. 

And Maddie's basket was.....empty. 

Hers wasn't the only one and there were parents commiserating the disappointment. Not wanting Maddie to get caught up in it, I leaned down and said, "Hey, let's go for a ride on the train!" "Yay!" she said and, in her excitement and anticipation, she completely chose to focus on the fun ahead and not the disappointment of an empty Easter basket. 

Have you ever focused on what you didn't have or what went wrong? I know I have. It'll ruin a good day. 

Not only did we ride the train, but she enjoyed rides on a boat, truck and helicopter. (That was $5 worth of tickets well spent!) 

"Let's go to the playground, Mimi!" and off she ran with me quickly following. I realized that, while I used to walk fast to keep up, now I was having to run too. (Getting in shape isn't just an option anymore!) She buried her feet in sand. And, as it was a little cool, Mimi (yeah, that's me) wouldn't let her go barefooted, so we simply dumped the sand out of the shoes after. (Sorry, mom, if you're washing sandy socks today.)

Finally, I saw her eyeing the BIG SLIDE. She took a few steps toward it. And looked to me. "Oh, no, chickadee, that's for bigger kids." 

"Mom and Dad let me do it." 

Now, having been a kid myself, I know that sometimes, we use that line to get our way whether it's completely true or not. After a minute of conversation, and ending with, "Maybe mom will slide down with you later," the fun continued but on the smaller, safer slides. 

Soon mom stopped by and informed Mimi that, yes, Maddie could slide down the BIG SLIDE......all by herself! (Obviously, this kid is growing up faster than I can keep up with!)

I had limited her in my own mind, even questioned her integrity, and yet she was completely capable and eager to tackle something BIG. And she'd spoken the truth. Have you ever been limited by another person's beliefs in what you're capable of? Have you ever known in your heart you could accomplish something, but limited yourself because of what others thought? Has your integrity been questioned? 

I learn a lot from other people. Who knew I'd learn some life lessons from hanging out with a 3-year-old? Where do you find teachable moments?

   *Focus on the opportunity, not the disappointment. 

   *Believe in yourself, even when others don't. 

   *Have fun!

Join me in looking for opportunities to learn and grow. Even if the lessons are in unlikely places, like on a spring day hanging out with a 3-year-old. And, if that's the case, you're guaranteed to have fun!

Jean

Kudos to the young man at the park who tried to convince his son to share an Easter egg with the little girl who didn't have any. Even though it didn't work out, it was great to see a parent making an effort to teach his child about sharing. (Maddie's Mimi says, "You rock!")

Jean Bailey Robor is that "No Buts About It" expert who simply wants you to lead happier and more successful lives. Getting past what's holding you back and changing your mindset can put you on that path to better living. Click here to book Jean for your next event!

UPDATE: The next day, Maddie had an egg hunt at my house. Guaranteed to find a basketful of eggs! 

Let's Talk Toastmasters!

The first time I heard the word Toastmasters, I thought…..toast…..what? I’d never heard of Toastmasters International. And I lived in a town where a Toastmasters club had been around longer than I had! Sometimes the best things are the best kept secrets. Today, I want to let you in on this secret, which really isn’t a secret at all. Toastmasters International is an organization that helps its members develop and hone their leadership and communication skills.

First, let me take you back, over ten years ago, to where I was when I first darkened the door of my local Toastmasters club. I was in a really tough place in my life. A few years prior, my family had been torn apart by divorce. If you’ve ever been there and done that, you know what I’m talking about. It was a huge life-changing event that almost destroyed me. You can just imagine where my confidence and self esteem were after that. Yep, in the crapper. Can I say that here? That’s exactly where I was….lower than I’d ever been, with an emotional pain that manifested itself physically every single day. Finally, I became numb and was just going through the motions to move forward, keep my job and try to hold it together when my children were around. I was failing miserably.

After a few years of this, (yes, I said 'years') I happened to be sitting at my desk one day, in my little gray cubicle, listening to a book on CD. It was written by a life coach, CherylRichardson, who casually mentioned she’d learned to speak in public through Toastmasters. This gal wasn’t just any life coach. She was well known in her field and, later on, I’d see her on Oprah. But she’d planted a seed, sparked my interest, when she mentioned Toastmasters.

And I’d thought: Toast…what? I did what I often do when I hear about something new to me. I googled it. Found out there was a club meeting right here in my hometown that evening. I knew I had to be there, to check it out, to see what Cheryl was talking about.

Now, I wasn’t interested in public speaking. No way! I could hardly look someone in the eye when speaking one on one. And to give a presentation at work? Hey, if they’d asked me to do that, I probably would have found another job. (Seriously.)

So, I showed up at the club meeting, slinked into the back row of seats, and experienced my first taste of Toastmasters. I’d like to say that I saw the value of the Toastmasters educational program and signed up that night. For me, that wasn’t the case. Remember, I was in a very emotionally painful place. What I found that night was what I needed. 

And, I don’t know what you believe. But I believe, for me, it was a God-thing. Here’s why. I saw people with positive attitudes. I saw people that were rooting for each other to succeed. These Toastmasters, they applauded everything! (You Toastmasters out there are smiling right now, aren't you? Yeah, you know it's true.) The atmosphere made me feel good and the people were friendly.

I didn’t join that night. I went home and thought about it for a week. Because that’s just who I am. The next Monday night I showed up with a check in hand. I was in! (Shout out to Burlington Toastmasters!)

No one in my club knew why I joined. They didn’t know where I was in my life. All they knew was that I was a new member and they were determined to make me feel welcome and get me involved.

In that very first meeting, I’d seen a man give a really good speech. I’d told him I enjoyed it after the meeting. He told me something I’ll never forget. He said when he first visited the club, he’d sat in the back row just like I had. He said his fear of public speaking had been so great that he couldn’t even  stand up and introduce himself. Gosh, even I could do that! Probably not very well, but I stumbled through it. I was totally blown away by this guy’s confession. I’d just seen him get up in front of a group of people and give a good speech, without any apparent nervousness. Wow! So, during the week, from the time I visited to the time I joined, I thought about him. I thought of how far he’d come just by joining Toastmasters. And I decided if it could do that for him……then what could it do for me? I needed to find out.

Toastmasters was a part of what it took to get me from the broken place I was in, to where I am now. Did it cure my pain? No, it’s not about that. What it did was give me tools to make my life better, no matter where I chose to take it. The educational program helped me develop skills that affected my personal and professional life in a postitive way. I could communicate one on one more easily. I could speak up in meetings instead of being shut down by my own fear. And finally, and surprisingly, I found a real love for speaking  in public, something I never would have considered before Toastmasters or even as a new member. But I found a love for it because I saw how people can help other people best from the stage. You can inspire, motivate, teach and train so many people at once! And I knew that’s what I wanted to do.

Without my Toastmasters experience, I would have missed out on so much over the past ten years.

Life is so much better now, y'all. 

This is my personal take on Toastmasters. You can read my story in the book “Heart of aToastmaster” by Sheryl Roush. It's full of stories of people just like me, who found the benefit of Toastmasters for them.

To see where I am now, visit my website www.jeanbaileyrobor.com. Or look me up on SpeakerMatch.  Toastmasters has helped me stop putting limiting beliefs on me. And it’s helped me heal from some pretty deep wounds.

So, what’s in it for you? Are you ready to find out? Why not visit a meeting and see? Visit Toastmasters.org and find a club meeting near you. You might find more than one. Visit them all and see what’s the best fit.

Who knows? Maybe a year or two from now you’ll look back and see how your life is better because you took the initiative to invest in you through Toastmasters. And, if you do, let me know. 

Rock on, 

Jean

Jean Bailey Robor is that “No Buts About It” expert who simply wants you to lead happier, more successful lives. Getting past what’s holding you back and changing your mindset can put you on that path to better living. Click here to book Jean for your next event!