Learning Life Lessons in Unlikely Places

Last weekend I took my granddaughter to the Burlington City Park for an Easter Egg hunt. The best part was that the first hunt would be for children ages 2-5. Maddie is 3. Perfect! Without all the older kids on the field vying for eggs, she was sure to get a few to put into her basket. 

When we arrived, all the kids and parents were lined up in a HUGE circle with a TON of brilliantly colored eggs gracing the field. We all stood at the ready, waiting for the sign when we could converge upon the shiny orbs and make them ours. Maddie and I were just 3 deep in line from the closest eggs. 

I've never seen anything like it, y'all. When it was time to 'hunt,' the sea of humans overtook those eggs and in less than a minute, the game was over. 

And Maddie's basket was.....empty. 

Hers wasn't the only one and there were parents commiserating the disappointment. Not wanting Maddie to get caught up in it, I leaned down and said, "Hey, let's go for a ride on the train!" "Yay!" she said and, in her excitement and anticipation, she completely chose to focus on the fun ahead and not the disappointment of an empty Easter basket. 

Have you ever focused on what you didn't have or what went wrong? I know I have. It'll ruin a good day. 

Not only did we ride the train, but she enjoyed rides on a boat, truck and helicopter. (That was $5 worth of tickets well spent!) 

"Let's go to the playground, Mimi!" and off she ran with me quickly following. I realized that, while I used to walk fast to keep up, now I was having to run too. (Getting in shape isn't just an option anymore!) She buried her feet in sand. And, as it was a little cool, Mimi (yeah, that's me) wouldn't let her go barefooted, so we simply dumped the sand out of the shoes after. (Sorry, mom, if you're washing sandy socks today.)

Finally, I saw her eyeing the BIG SLIDE. She took a few steps toward it. And looked to me. "Oh, no, chickadee, that's for bigger kids." 

"Mom and Dad let me do it." 

Now, having been a kid myself, I know that sometimes, we use that line to get our way whether it's completely true or not. After a minute of conversation, and ending with, "Maybe mom will slide down with you later," the fun continued but on the smaller, safer slides. 

Soon mom stopped by and informed Mimi that, yes, Maddie could slide down the BIG SLIDE......all by herself! (Obviously, this kid is growing up faster than I can keep up with!)

I had limited her in my own mind, even questioned her integrity, and yet she was completely capable and eager to tackle something BIG. And she'd spoken the truth. Have you ever been limited by another person's beliefs in what you're capable of? Have you ever known in your heart you could accomplish something, but limited yourself because of what others thought? Has your integrity been questioned? 

I learn a lot from other people. Who knew I'd learn some life lessons from hanging out with a 3-year-old? Where do you find teachable moments?

   *Focus on the opportunity, not the disappointment. 

   *Believe in yourself, even when others don't. 

   *Have fun!

Join me in looking for opportunities to learn and grow. Even if the lessons are in unlikely places, like on a spring day hanging out with a 3-year-old. And, if that's the case, you're guaranteed to have fun!

Jean

Kudos to the young man at the park who tried to convince his son to share an Easter egg with the little girl who didn't have any. Even though it didn't work out, it was great to see a parent making an effort to teach his child about sharing. (Maddie's Mimi says, "You rock!")

Jean Bailey Robor is that "No Buts About It" expert who simply wants you to lead happier and more successful lives. Getting past what's holding you back and changing your mindset can put you on that path to better living. Click here to book Jean for your next event!

UPDATE: The next day, Maddie had an egg hunt at my house. Guaranteed to find a basketful of eggs! 

Let's Talk Toastmasters!

The first time I heard the word Toastmasters, I thought…..toast…..what? I’d never heard of Toastmasters International. And I lived in a town where a Toastmasters club had been around longer than I had! Sometimes the best things are the best kept secrets. Today, I want to let you in on this secret, which really isn’t a secret at all. Toastmasters International is an organization that helps its members develop and hone their leadership and communication skills.

First, let me take you back, over ten years ago, to where I was when I first darkened the door of my local Toastmasters club. I was in a really tough place in my life. A few years prior, my family had been torn apart by divorce. If you’ve ever been there and done that, you know what I’m talking about. It was a huge life-changing event that almost destroyed me. You can just imagine where my confidence and self esteem were after that. Yep, in the crapper. Can I say that here? That’s exactly where I was….lower than I’d ever been, with an emotional pain that manifested itself physically every single day. Finally, I became numb and was just going through the motions to move forward, keep my job and try to hold it together when my children were around. I was failing miserably.

After a few years of this, (yes, I said 'years') I happened to be sitting at my desk one day, in my little gray cubicle, listening to a book on CD. It was written by a life coach, CherylRichardson, who casually mentioned she’d learned to speak in public through Toastmasters. This gal wasn’t just any life coach. She was well known in her field and, later on, I’d see her on Oprah. But she’d planted a seed, sparked my interest, when she mentioned Toastmasters.

And I’d thought: Toast…what? I did what I often do when I hear about something new to me. I googled it. Found out there was a club meeting right here in my hometown that evening. I knew I had to be there, to check it out, to see what Cheryl was talking about.

Now, I wasn’t interested in public speaking. No way! I could hardly look someone in the eye when speaking one on one. And to give a presentation at work? Hey, if they’d asked me to do that, I probably would have found another job. (Seriously.)

So, I showed up at the club meeting, slinked into the back row of seats, and experienced my first taste of Toastmasters. I’d like to say that I saw the value of the Toastmasters educational program and signed up that night. For me, that wasn’t the case. Remember, I was in a very emotionally painful place. What I found that night was what I needed. 

And, I don’t know what you believe. But I believe, for me, it was a God-thing. Here’s why. I saw people with positive attitudes. I saw people that were rooting for each other to succeed. These Toastmasters, they applauded everything! (You Toastmasters out there are smiling right now, aren't you? Yeah, you know it's true.) The atmosphere made me feel good and the people were friendly.

I didn’t join that night. I went home and thought about it for a week. Because that’s just who I am. The next Monday night I showed up with a check in hand. I was in! (Shout out to Burlington Toastmasters!)

No one in my club knew why I joined. They didn’t know where I was in my life. All they knew was that I was a new member and they were determined to make me feel welcome and get me involved.

In that very first meeting, I’d seen a man give a really good speech. I’d told him I enjoyed it after the meeting. He told me something I’ll never forget. He said when he first visited the club, he’d sat in the back row just like I had. He said his fear of public speaking had been so great that he couldn’t even  stand up and introduce himself. Gosh, even I could do that! Probably not very well, but I stumbled through it. I was totally blown away by this guy’s confession. I’d just seen him get up in front of a group of people and give a good speech, without any apparent nervousness. Wow! So, during the week, from the time I visited to the time I joined, I thought about him. I thought of how far he’d come just by joining Toastmasters. And I decided if it could do that for him……then what could it do for me? I needed to find out.

Toastmasters was a part of what it took to get me from the broken place I was in, to where I am now. Did it cure my pain? No, it’s not about that. What it did was give me tools to make my life better, no matter where I chose to take it. The educational program helped me develop skills that affected my personal and professional life in a postitive way. I could communicate one on one more easily. I could speak up in meetings instead of being shut down by my own fear. And finally, and surprisingly, I found a real love for speaking  in public, something I never would have considered before Toastmasters or even as a new member. But I found a love for it because I saw how people can help other people best from the stage. You can inspire, motivate, teach and train so many people at once! And I knew that’s what I wanted to do.

Without my Toastmasters experience, I would have missed out on so much over the past ten years.

Life is so much better now, y'all. 

This is my personal take on Toastmasters. You can read my story in the book “Heart of aToastmaster” by Sheryl Roush. It's full of stories of people just like me, who found the benefit of Toastmasters for them.

To see where I am now, visit my website www.jeanbaileyrobor.com. Or look me up on SpeakerMatch.  Toastmasters has helped me stop putting limiting beliefs on me. And it’s helped me heal from some pretty deep wounds.

So, what’s in it for you? Are you ready to find out? Why not visit a meeting and see? Visit Toastmasters.org and find a club meeting near you. You might find more than one. Visit them all and see what’s the best fit.

Who knows? Maybe a year or two from now you’ll look back and see how your life is better because you took the initiative to invest in you through Toastmasters. And, if you do, let me know. 

Rock on, 

Jean

Jean Bailey Robor is that “No Buts About It” expert who simply wants you to lead happier, more successful lives. Getting past what’s holding you back and changing your mindset can put you on that path to better living. Click here to book Jean for your next event!

5-Minute Face Lift

So, on the way home from church yesterday, mom handed me a bunch of coupons and said, “Stop at Wal-mart on the way home. I need a few things.” Now, that’s not unusual, so, like a good daughter, I stopped by Wal-Mart. She said she’d wait in the car while I ran in and picked up the necessary items. That’s not unusual either. You see, mom is in a wheelchair and it’s an effort getting in and out so sometimes, she opts for waiting in the car. Unless we’re going clothes shopping. That woman loves some clothes!

As I grabbed a cart and began looking through the coupons, I saw she’d clipped one for a 5-minute face lift. Hmm…..the woman is 86 and looks great. What does SHE need with this miracle serum? Still, the coupon was for $5 off. Wow!

And that should have been my first clue. Anything that has a $5 off coupon has GOT to be pricey  When I picked it up, yeah, it was. 29 bucks! Now, I don’t know about you, but where I come from, 1oz of serum for that kinda money spells E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E. But this was my mama, so I put it into the cart.

A few items later and I was through the checkout and out the door. And mom was happy.

Later that evening, she handed me the precious miracle serum. “I want you to try it first. Just to see if it works.” Sure, no problem. The woman has very sensitive skin and can’t wear just anything. I told her I’d try it in the morning. So I did. It seemed harmless enough, made my skin feel a little tight (must be that firming action) and, I swear, my reflection in the mirror looked 10 years younger. Of course, that was BEFORE I put on my glasses.

Downstairs I gave her a quick report on the ‘stuff.’ That’s when she told me she didn’t want it. That I could have it.

Now, if you know mama you’d know that was her plan all along. But it was the first time she’d been so sneaky about it. And I never saw it coming. Usually, she sees these anti-aging or weight-loss products on television, orders them and presents them to me. Usually in the form of a birthday or Christmas present. Just trying to help me salvage my youth.

• Have you ever been surprised by an unexpected (maybe even unwanted) “gift”?
• What do you think: Is $29 an ounce too much, just right or not enough for a miracle serum?
• Have you ever used a miracle serum to preserve your youth? (If it worked, do tell.)

So, that’s how it came to be that I’m now the proud owner of a 5-minute face lift. Give me a few days. I’m thinking that’s how long it’ll take before y’all start mistaking me for my daughter’s sister. 

And if that doesn’t happen, does anyone know the return policy at Wal-mart? 

Jean

Six Super Lessons from Super Bowl XLVII

It was T minus 3 hours, 36 minutes, 24 seconds and counting until the kickoff of Super Bowl XLVII. I could hardly wait! Even though, I have to admit, none of my favorite teams had made it. (Although I do love SF quarterback, Colin Kaepernick.) Still, there’s just something super exciting about watching the best of the best in the NFL go head to head. Plus, I love to watch (and critique) the commercials. How about you?

3 hours, 36 minutes and 24 seconds s-l-o-w-l-y ticked by. Finally, it was time! To see Jennifer Hudson and the Sandy Hook elementary school kids sing “God Bless America”….well, it was heart-touching.  And Alicia Keys’ rendition of the National Anthem was simply beautiful.

 And what about that 11-second kick return for a touchdown by the Ravens? Honestly, I was hoping the 49ers would win. But I was super impressed by that play. You’ve gotta recognize talent.  (Sorry, K!) But then there was the fumble recovery….yep, so much talent on the field tonight.  And 17 San Francisco points scored in just over 4 minutes.  Plus Quarterback K’s touchdown! Longest in Super Bowl history. Wow!

Congrats to the Ravens for the win! And, now that the game is a part of history, here are a few life lessons I learned from this Super Bowl that I want to share with you. #herewego

     1.  Be genuine. Always sing (don’t lip-sync).  Even if you admit you’re going to do it, lip-sync-ing is often perceived as being ‘fake’ or taking the easy way out. (Which is interesting if you’re lip-sync-ing to your own performance.) Now, I certainly understand that the sound quality would be better lip-sync-ed. However, I’ll take a live performance anytime over perfection. Kudos to Beyoncé for going for it. She genuinely rocked the house at half-time!

2.  Be prayerful. Before taking the field, we saw players praying. In your personal and professional life, it’s important to have balance. Men and woman of great faith draw strength from and give glory to God. Don’t neglect your spiritual life.  

3      3.  Be grateful.  Just like making it to the Super Bowl, there are going to be key people and key events in your life that get you to your shining hour. Remember those that got you there and let them know you appreciate them.

4      4.  Be forgiving.  Life isn’t fair, especially if you disagreed with the referee’s call on…you know what play I’m talking about! Yeah, that one. If you focus on times you’ve been treated unfairly in life, you’ll never reach your full potential. You have to forgive in order to focus fully and live your purpose.

5      5.  Be ready for anything. Sometimes, the unexpected happens. Sometimes it’s beyond your control. Like when the lights go out in the Super Dome during the big game. When life happens, focus on what you do have control of, not on what you don’t. And ALWAYS have a Plan B. Use your downtime wisely. Be ready for when the lights DO come back on. (Even if it takes 35 minutes.)

6       6. Be the best. NFL teams that make it to the Super Bowl didn’t do it by being mediocre. Be your best in what you do, take a journey of continual growth and find your own success!

Are there any lessons you’ve learned from watching the big game?

What was your favorite commercial? Mine was a tie for first between the RAM “So God Made a Farmer” and the Jeep/USO one. With bravery at the prom (Audi) coming in second.  (Maybe not a close second, but second just the same.)

What was the tackiest? Yeah, the Go Daddy kiss.

To your super success,

Jean

Check out the Super Bowl commercials here!

99 Years Ago Today

On this day in 1911 a great man was born. When I came to know him, he was a man of few words but great wisdom. He had a sweet smile that lit up my world. His twinkling blue eyes radiated the love he felt for others but didn’t often put into words.

In his younger days Dee drove a Model T. It wasn’t as easy as turning a key (or pushing a button) to start the car. There was a crank on the front and I remember him telling me that you had to hand crank it, and there was a trick to it. It was best to cup the crank in your palm because if you put your thumb under the handle and it ‘kicked back’ it might break your thumb. Once cranked, he’d run to jump in, especially if it was on an incline. How times have changed.

When I think of all the life he experienced, it humbles me. How can I complain when the house is too hot in the summer realizing that the house he grew up in was cooled only by soft summer breezes and some not so cool? And for years he drove a car that had no air conditioning, radio, even windows.

I remember one story that he told about his younger days. He and his brothers, Henry and Kin, were riding down a dirt road in that Model T. They’d found a pig on the side of the road and picked it up. They came to a check point and, worried they’d get trouble with the law, Kin quickly threw one of their suit coats and a hat on the pig. The officer came over to the car and asked each of them their names. The Bailey boys complied and, from the back seat, the pig squealed. As he walked off, dad overheard the officer tell his partner. “I’ve seen some interesting characters in my time but that Oink Bailey is the ugliest son-of-a-gun I’ve ever seen!” I never knew if that was a true story or very much embellished. Guess I never will. But it brought a smile to a lot of people and it gave Dee great pleasure in telling it.

June 11, 1911. I often wonder what that day was like when that baby boy came into the world. That boy that grew up to be a man who cared about others more than himself. Now, I don’t know what he was really like in his younger years, but I do know what he was like later in life. And I do know that he loved and cared for his family.

Thinking back to Dee’s funeral is almost a blur, but there are a few moments that, after these 14 years, still stand out to me. The pastor of his church and a former pastor spoke and spoke well of him. In both cases, they mentioned that they had been—many times over—the recipients of his generosity. He was famous for handing out $20 bills. Not only to them, but to others too as I soon learned. There were plenty of times, as a college kid, that I wouldn’t have had enough gas to get from home back to college if not for his $20. I had to smile. Funny that none of us had known he was giving to the others. That was so like him. Giving without making a big deal of it. Quiet generosity. Speaking with actions rather than words.

I’m thankful that certain parts of Dee live on in me. I’m thankful that while dad may not have left a fortune, he left a legacy, a legacy I’m still trying to live up to. Most of all I’m thankful for 1911.

That was a very good year.