5-Minute Face Lift

So, on the way home from church yesterday, mom handed me a bunch of coupons and said, “Stop at Wal-mart on the way home. I need a few things.” Now, that’s not unusual, so, like a good daughter, I stopped by Wal-Mart. She said she’d wait in the car while I ran in and picked up the necessary items. That’s not unusual either. You see, mom is in a wheelchair and it’s an effort getting in and out so sometimes, she opts for waiting in the car. Unless we’re going clothes shopping. That woman loves some clothes!

As I grabbed a cart and began looking through the coupons, I saw she’d clipped one for a 5-minute face lift. Hmm…..the woman is 86 and looks great. What does SHE need with this miracle serum? Still, the coupon was for $5 off. Wow!

And that should have been my first clue. Anything that has a $5 off coupon has GOT to be pricey  When I picked it up, yeah, it was. 29 bucks! Now, I don’t know about you, but where I come from, 1oz of serum for that kinda money spells E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E. But this was my mama, so I put it into the cart.

A few items later and I was through the checkout and out the door. And mom was happy.

Later that evening, she handed me the precious miracle serum. “I want you to try it first. Just to see if it works.” Sure, no problem. The woman has very sensitive skin and can’t wear just anything. I told her I’d try it in the morning. So I did. It seemed harmless enough, made my skin feel a little tight (must be that firming action) and, I swear, my reflection in the mirror looked 10 years younger. Of course, that was BEFORE I put on my glasses.

Downstairs I gave her a quick report on the ‘stuff.’ That’s when she told me she didn’t want it. That I could have it.

Now, if you know mama you’d know that was her plan all along. But it was the first time she’d been so sneaky about it. And I never saw it coming. Usually, she sees these anti-aging or weight-loss products on television, orders them and presents them to me. Usually in the form of a birthday or Christmas present. Just trying to help me salvage my youth.

• Have you ever been surprised by an unexpected (maybe even unwanted) “gift”?
• What do you think: Is $29 an ounce too much, just right or not enough for a miracle serum?
• Have you ever used a miracle serum to preserve your youth? (If it worked, do tell.)

So, that’s how it came to be that I’m now the proud owner of a 5-minute face lift. Give me a few days. I’m thinking that’s how long it’ll take before y’all start mistaking me for my daughter’s sister. 

And if that doesn’t happen, does anyone know the return policy at Wal-mart? 

Jean