Why We Can't Call It "Christmas" Anymore

It seems that each year, more and more people jump on the bandwagon in the guise of political correctness to take away the freedom of speech the United States Constitution guarantees.  But it wasn’t always like this. Oh, yes, Virginia, there really IS a Christmas.

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away…..no, actually, right here in our own backyard …. greeting someone in the month of December with “Merry Christmas” was not only acceptable, it was….get this…..not offensive.  Even folks who didn’t celebrate Christmas felt the warmth behind the greeting. There was nothing unpleasant, nothing derogatory, no ill intent construed.

So, how did we get from there to where we are now? And just within my short (short being debatable) lifetime?

According to an article on the www.law.cornell.edu website, when referring to freedom of expression protections within the First Amendment of the US Constitution, “the right to freedom of speech allows individuals to express themselves without interference or constraint by the government.”  The Supreme Court interprets the extent of the protection afforded to these rights.

Good men and women have fought and died for us to have these rights. Can you just imagine what they would think if they knew that we Americans were at odds over the words “Merry Christmas”? How trivial (and foolish?) it would seem that folks would get visibly angry by a warm greeting? Or, just as bad, that folks would get bent out of shape because someone wished them “Happy Holidays” in the same warm spirit? (Yes, it happens.) Who ARE these angry people? Obviously, this Christmas-Holiday thing is just a small part of what must be bigger issues.

I truly believe how we’ve arrived here, where “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holiday” greetings are no longer embraced, has more to do with our evolving culture than the mere words, and meanings behind the words,  themselves. As a society, I believe we’ve:

• Embraced political correctness to such a polarized point that ‘tolerant’ has become ‘intolerant’
• Taught our children, by our own actions and lack of discipline, that disrespecting another human being is okay
• Missed the true meaning of what ‘being human’ is all about

And this, in my opinion, has led to why we can’t call it “Christmas” anymore. And yet, I also believe that we’ve been sold a bill of goods that EVERYONE believes this way, that EVERYONE could potentially become offended if we speak those dreaded words “Merry Christmas.” 

I believe we need to reinforce that it’s okay to be greeted by “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” without taking, or feeling we should take, offense. I also believe if we respond to a well meant “Happy Holidays” greeting with an angry and defiant “Merry Christmas,” we are only adding to the problem. Who declared THAT to be acceptable behavior?

Jim Krumel, editor of The Lima News, recently cited the following survey results in a blog post. When polled by the Pew Research Center about the phrase they most preferred to be greeted with among businesses, the majority of Americans responded that……(drum roll, please)……it didn’t matter.  (This is when “it doesn’t matter” was an option. When not an option, “Merry Christmas” was chosen  57% of the time.) Read Jim’s entire blog post here.

Posts and comments I’ve read recently include:

“I am not a Christian, but I don’t find it offensive when well-wishers offer me a Merry Christmas. I take it in the spirit it is intended.” – KitFox

“The way I look at it is if a Jewish friend offered Happy Channukah to me, and I were offended at that, wouldn’t that make me a jerk? Can’t we all, pardon the expression, just get along?” –Chris Behrens

Exactly.

In exercising my freedom of speech, I say “Merry Christmas” around here. Whatever you say, be it “Feliz Navidad,” “Happy Channukah,” “Happy Holidays,” “Seasons Greetings,” “Joyeux Noel,” “Happy Kwanzaa” or “Warm Wishes to You.”  In the spirit of the season, let’s just greet and be greeted and be merry.

Happy Festivus!

Err….I mean….Merry Christmas.

And I hope you took that in the warm spirit in which it was intended.

Jean

Jean Bailey Robor is that “No Buts About It” speaker who simply wants you to lead happier, more successful lives. Getting past what’s holding you back and changing your mindset can put you on that path to better living. 

#31DaysOfKindess It's On!

It all started when my friend World Champ Ryan Avery presented a challenge. For those of you who know me personally, you know, when there's a challenge like this, I just can't resist. And resist, I could not. 

Ryan said (or, if he'd been raised here in North Carolina, he would have said) "Hey, y'all, come join me in this #31DaysOfKindess challenge!" Actually, what he did was spur us on not only to rise up to the challenge, but to share what we were doing on social media using the hashtag #31DaysOfKindness. Obviously, this does two things: 1) It keeps us accountable and on task, 2) It keeps us connected with others participating in the challenge. Honestly, I have dearly loved searching on #31DaysOfKindness and finding out what others are doing. (As you can see, just from this Twitter feed, I'm lovin' it.)

It's been amazing what is happening in my own life. It's certainly proving the wise old words of the Bible true: It's more blessed to give than to receive. On Ryan's page, when he wrote 'Let's make a difference in the lives of thousands...' I wonder if he realized those 'thousands' he spoke of included us, the ones he challenged. 

For instance, on Day 1 we hand wrote  thank you letters. I couldn't tell you, prior to this, how long it has been since I wrote a handwritten letter. Before the days of email, I would write at least a letter (or more) a week. That just fell by the wayside once sending an email or text message became the norm. We share and receive information in real time or within seconds. Why even bother writing a letter where the recipient won't get it for a day or two? Here's the beauty of it. Keep sending the emails and texts, but when it comes to expressing something heartfelt, like gratitude, honor that person by sending a handwritten letter. It will make a difference. The cool thing is, the day after the challenge, a woman whom I greatly admire bought my lunch and shared some valuable business tips. You guessed it. I sent another handwritten thank you letter. 

I'd say this challenge is not going to last just 31 days. The joy we're bringing to others, whether buying a coffee, sharing an article, offering an apology, these are the things that are making a difference. And there's just no stopping the kindness in the human heart once it gets fired up. 

If you're a part of the challenge, watch out. After 31 days I have a feeling you'll see life, and the people in it, a little differently, and you'll be seeking out ways to be kind. 

If you're not part of the challenge, it's never too late to step in and be kind. 

For a look at what happened on the Day 8: Give a book to a friend challenge, take a look at the video I posted on my Facebook page. (And while you're there, friend me.) 

Let's do what we members of the human race do best, be kind. Anything less is not enough. 

Rock on, 

Jean 

As a motivational humorous speaker, Jean Bailey Robor is available for corporate, civic and faith-based events. Book her here. 

A Champion's Blog Post

Recently, I read a blog post by a World Champ. Now, that's not unusual. I believe if you have a dream, you need to follow those who have been there and done that. My dream is to become better at what I do: connecting with an audience. So, I listen and learn to those who have done and are doing just that.

One of those folks is World Champion of Public Speaking, Darren LaCroix. You may have heard of him. If not, stop reading now and click here to see his winning speech.

That speech won Darren the World Championship in 2001. Since then, he has dedicated himself to helping others become better speakers. I had the privilege of seeing him in person last year in Cincinnati, OH. It was standing room only. No surprise. He's THAT good.

Last month, Darren posted a blog that not only impressed me, it made me think. And that's the best kind of blog. Within a few minutes of reading it, I was challenged to further reveal my authentic self in my presentations, in my blogs, whenever I speak with people.

Today, I want to share Darren's life-changing blog with you. Click here to read it now.

I challenge you to think about that part of you that you need to share to connect with others, to become more authentic. Maybe it's time you, like Darren, shared your relationship with God.

Maybe it's time you begin that relationship.

Having a balanced life includes the spiritual. I truly believe that. I'm living proof as there have been times over the years when I've been close to God and other times when I wasn't so close. Wherever I've been, it's affected other areas of my life.

That's why reading Darren's God Blog had such an impact.

Be bold. Be brave. Be authentic.

Jean

Ready to book Jean for your next event? Click here now!

(This blog post was reprinted from The Champion's Connection Network blog by Jean Bailey Robor.)

Snapped! on Oxygen. Yeah, that's me.

"I just saw YOU on TV!" That's what she said and it was true. Me and my friends just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Scene from "Snapped!" Season 13, Episode 5. Click here to watch the mini-episode. (Warning: contains graphic images) We're on around minute 3. Not to worry. I didn't 'snap'! Even though my friend Randy now says, "I'm a bit scared to know you right now." Yeah, don't mess with this redhead, y'all, or I'll.....walk across the street."

For Meeting Planners (or anyone who is interested in hiring Jean)

If you're in charge of booking speakers for your organization, you know the value of hiring a speaker who accomplishes what you want / need for your audience. And you can imagine the stress of hiring a speaker who does not meet the needs of your audience. 

Jean is passionate about what she does. She is also sensitive to what you do. While she wants your business, she's aware of the task you have of finding the best speaker that 'fits' your needs. (She's even talked meeting planners OUT of hiring her when they want a different kind of speaker.)

Here's some info that Jean has put together, just for you: 

What can Jean do for you at your next event?

• Keynote
• Workshop / Educational Session
• Panel Discussion
• Facilitator
• Emcee
• Presentation Coach
• Break-outs
• Round-table discussion
• Stand Up Comedy

What is the best way to set up the room?

If you have more than 50 people, a raised platform is preferable. After all, Jean is a wanna-be tall & skinny girl. Actually, a platform is preferable for any of Jean’s presentations for that very reason, just to give everyone a clear view. But, if you can’t accommodate, no sweat. Jean’s pretty good at standing tall. (Especially in heels!)

Set the room wide, not narrow, and stagger the seating if possible. This gives attendees a clearer view. Seat attendees close to the front of the room. You may want to rope off the back rows of seating until the front section is filled.

Be sure the stage area is well lit; spotlights work wonders.

Any audio / visual needs?

Jean works best when NOT behind a lectern. She likes getting up close and personal to the audience with a hand-held mic. If you don’t have a mic stand, let Jean know. She’ll bring her own.  If you prefer she present behind a lectern, let her know.

If Jean will be presenting with a slide deck, be sure to have a projector / screen handy.

Are you ready to book Jean? (or at least to learn more about her)

Click here now!

Already booked Jean?

Smart move! Here’s what to expect:

• A pre-program questionnaire- the more details you share the better your event will be. And, as always, it will be customized to your audience.
• An agreement to sign.
• Jean’s personal contact info so you can get in touch with her anytime.
• Promo photos, short and long bio.
• Ask about a Promo video! (made just for your event!)
• A speaker that is professional and super easy to work with!

Still have questions? Visit Jean's website: www.JeanBaileyRobor.com or email her at Jean@JeanBaileyRobor.com. 

She Tried to Slap Me, But...

She was a friend. On Facebook. And a little more than an acquaintance in ‘real life.’ We’d had some respectful differences of opinion in the past. She leans to the left; I lean to the right. And, on some issues, we meet in the middle.

Today, I must have pushed her over the edge.

Here’s what happened.

I read an article on Facebook as I often do in the mornings before I get out of bed. It’s sort of a routine. Grab the phone, turn off the alarm, check the social media sites. Yeah, I’m a creature of habit. Someone had posted an article that I found interesting if a bit disturbing.  Although I’m not the most political person, as an American citizen, I feel a certain obligation to keep informed about what’s going on in my country, whether I agree with it or not.

I knew, from the content, if I reposted the article I would get some backlash. So, as I posted it, I added this disclaimer to my post: “This isn't a political post.  Just sharing something that I find disturbing from a former Secret Service agent.” I figured my Facebook friends, several of whom have differing yet intelligent opinions, might post a little response and I looked forward to reading their take on this. Little did I know that within minutes of posting, I would be severely judged.

How do you feel when you’ve been judged by someone? The thing is, we can’t control what others choose to think or feel; we can only control ourselves. So when I saw a private message within minutes of re-posting that article, I knew just how it felt to be judged unfairly.  This is the message I received: “I think it is time for me to unfriend you. I don't think I knew who you were in the past. The blatantly unChristian things that I have read with racist overtones have truly surprised me. I will pray for you.”

For anyone who truly knows me, you know that this does not paint an accurate picture of who I am. Yeah, I’m that gal that posts all the warm fuzzy stuff on your Facebook page. The one who wants to encourage other people to live above, not beneath, their circumstances. The one who quotes Rodney King, “Why can’t we all just get along?”

Ultimately, I’m a big girl. I can take it. Now, just 12 hours later, I found another post on my page. Not an article this time, but a quote. A quote that spoke to my heart: “No matter how good a person you are there will always be someone criticizing you.” It felt like validation. Must be a God-thing.

Yeah. You know I shared that one. (You can check out my Facebook page to be sure.)

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather choose to be content than let someone else’s opinion of me dictate who I truly am.  There will always be someone criticizing you. The best we can do, you and me, is to define our purpose and live it. It won’t make us perfect but it will help us be perfectly content in our own skin.

So next time when someone tries to verbally slap you in the face, take heart. Remember who you are and Whose you are. And live life happy.

And, if it helps, remember I’ve been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

 

Jean

What Every Man Should Know

Recently, I was completely blown away by the revelations of a man who had been married, is now divorced, and offered advice that's suitable to men who desire to have a healthy and happy marital relationship. It was re-posted on Facebook and some responses from women were: "I melted when I read your post!" and "I hope this saves marriages." And a man responded: "Words to learn and live by." So, of course, I have to share this with you. Read on...

MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about going through divorce that gives you perspective of things you wish you would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If you get frustrated or angry, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8) Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel loved.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fear and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, and part of that courage is allowing her to love your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is for a relationship that isn’t focused on growing. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. Forgiveness is freedom. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

You can find the original post here.

Whether you agree with every point shared, I hope you find some truth that will make your current or future relationship happier, healthier and stronger. After all, life is short. Live it well. Celebrate life!

To your relationship success,

Jean