Making the New Year's Resolutions Work

According to usa.gov, these are some New Year’s resolutions that are popular year after year:

Drink Less Alcohol
Get a Better Education
Get a Better Job
Get Fit
Lose Weight
Manage Debt
Manage Stress
Quit Smoking Now
Save Money
Take a Trip
Volunteer to Help Others

When thinking about your New Year’s resolutions from past years, do any of these sound familiar? They certainly do to me! Topping my list, almost every year, has been losing weight. Each year I begin with high hopes and by the end of that year, I’m sadly disappointed, wondering where all that January 1st willpower went. Have you ever felt that way? Good, then I’m not the only one! Seriously, I think we’ve all felt that way, those of us who have made resolutions and haven’t kept them.

It’s so easy to resolve to be become better and often difficult to follow through. This year, I’ve assessed my own situation. And I believe I’ve found a solution. Now, time will tell. When 2011 comes to a close, I’ll know for sure if this works. In the meantime, I’ll share with you my thoughts on why my New Year’s resolutions haven’t always worked and what I’m doing differently this year to make them a reality.

Let’s take the weight loss thing. It’s a pretty popular resolution, probably because over 66% of Americans are overweight. We’re all in this together, whether you have 5lbs or 50 you’d like to drop. Let’s just say, I’m somewhere in between (and I wish it was only the 5)!

In years past, I’ve listed my #1 resolution as losing weight, generally followed by how much weight I’ve wanted to lose. Period. The problem is, I never put down anything specific. I never created a game plan. Sure, I had an idea of what I’d do. A few years ago, I quit drinking sodas, cut out a lot of sugar that way, especially since I’d been a Mt. Dew junkie. Had one every morning, every afternoon and sometimes more in the evenings. It wasn’t easy to give up, but I did it. The thing is, it didn’t help me lose weight. I knew it had helped others lose weight. So why didn’t it help me? Because I overcompensated…with sweet tea. Yeah, I’m from the South and we love our Southern Sweet Tea. It’s practically a delicacy. So while I gave up one sugary drink, I replaced it with another. No game plan. No success.

This year, I’m putting weight loss on my list again, along with the amount I want to lose. But I’m not stopping there. I’m going to list several specific ways I plan to lose the weight and get fit and not replace one bad thing with another. Now, your specifics may be different from mine, but this is what my game plan looks like:
· Work out 3 times a week
· Eat smaller portions (box up ½ of each meal when I eat out, share it with a friend or order less- no super-sizing)
· Take the stairs (stop using the elevator, not just some days but every day)

In the next few days, I’m going to go a step further, to really get specific. For instance, I’m going to mark the days on my calendar when I’ll be working out; schedule them just as if they were appointments with important clients.

I truly believe that being more specific will help me in keeping my New Year’s resolutions. And it doesn’t have to be about weight loss. It can be about anything that you want to change in your life this year. Make 2011 your year to make a difference in YOUR life. When you become a better YOU, you become a better (fill in the blank) for them, your clients, your family, the recipients of your volunteer work, your employer.

Another thing I’m changing is this. I’m not making a list of 10 resolutions. I know myself and that’s way too many to keep! Instead, I’m making my list easier to control. I’m cutting it down to 3. So, in addition to being more specific, I’m intending for success by making my resolutions more manageable.

My #2 resolution is to finish a book I’ve begun writing. Now, last year I had every intention of completing it by the end of 2010. That’s not happening. Why? Probably because I let little things get in the way of my writing time. Now, could I have finished it? Sure. It was definitely do-able. But I didn’t have specific times blocked off on my calendar; I didn’t set small goals in order to reach completion. Now, I’ve set dates when each chapter should be completed rather than when the entire book should be complete. And if you’d like to keep up with my progress, visit http://www.shehasabigbut.com/. Yes, an odd name, for sure. But once you read on the site what the book is all about, you’ll see it fits pretty well.

My third resolution is to work on my speaking skills. As a speaker, I realize how important it is to not only get lots of stage time but to continue learning from others and putting what I learn into practice. The last thing I want to do is bore my audience! (And that’s the last thing they want me to do, too)! I’ve blocked off time on my calendar to learn from others and to participate in my local Toastmasters group; the only way I can be better is to have good feedback and the best way to get it is from Toastmasters who have learned the art of giving valuable evaluations.

Now, if you’ve been like me, a little disappointed at the end of the year when you realize you haven’t kept your resolutions, I encourage you to do two things:

1) Be specific; give ways you can reach your goals and make those ways do-able. (You noticed I’m not giving up my sweet tea. Sure, I could put that on the list, but giving it up completely is not going to happen).

2) Keep your resolution list manageable; pick only a few things to work on.

If you and I do this, I truly believe, when we come down to the end of 2011, we won’t have to wonder where all that January 1st willpower went. Instead, we’ll have reason to celebrate because you and I will have kept the resolutions we set, every single one.

Wishing you the best in your 2011 success,
Jean

http://www.jeanbaileyrobor.com/

Merry Christmas!

As you go through this holiday season, take time to enjoy those special moments, those moments with family and friends. Take comfort in knowing your gifts of friendship and love are long-lasting and make the greatest impact. I don't remember much about the gifts I've received over the years as much as I appreciated them. But I do remember the happy times, the joys shared with loved ones. And, at Christmastime, that has made all the difference.


While there may be moments when you feel sadness, maybe memories of a loved one no longer with you bring a tear to your eye, know that this Christmas brings great potential for happiness, and you have the power to make that happen. Over the years, I’ve found several ways that help take my loneliness out of Christmas and today, I’ll share 3 of them as my Christmas gift to you.

1. Feed your soul- Use the time you may have away from work and other activities to feed your soul. So often I find myself neglecting the spiritual part of me. (Not to mention the physical part, but that’s a whole nuther story)! We have so many resources at the ready to provide encouragement, healing, uplifting of our souls. Reading a scripture, singing or listening to soothing music, spending some quiet time in meditation and prayer. These are ways that I’ve found rejuvenate me and feed my soul. Sometimes, and this is really fun, putting on some upbeat Christmas music while I bake Christmas goodies does the trick. Now, does this keep me from feeling sad? Not completely. Often a Christmas song will evoke a precious memory, but there’s joy within the sadness, and the memories are sweet.


2. Give to others- There is so much joy in giving to others. Whether you provide a monetary gift to the less fortunate or donate food, toys or clothes, you’ll receive a blessing. And, you know, sometimes if the recipient of our gifts aren’t all they appear to be, it makes us feel bad. If that happens, know that you gave for the right reasons and bask in that knowledge. And know that, because you gave, you’ll be blessed. Helping others at Christmas and all year through is really what it’s all about and, when you give, that echoes the gift of God’s son, Jesus, whom we celebrate. He truly is the reason for the season. Celebrate Him by giving to others.


3. Host your own party- If you find that you’ll be alone on Christmas (and you’d prefer to enjoy the company of others), don’t wait for an invitation, host a party. Several years ago, I began inviting friends, family & neighbors over on Christmas evening for hors d'oeuvres and a time of fellowship. Nothing fancy. Nothing that took a lot of preparation. (Of course, it did force me to clean the house)! Some years there are few that show and it’s a cozy and intimate time. Some years there are many and a more party-like atmosphere. Every year, it’s a time of happiness and joy. Now, it’s become one of my Christmas traditions. And one that I, and others, thoroughly enjoy. All because I didn’t want to feel lonely at Christmas.
   
   So, if you find yourself feeling less than joyful this Christmas season, I hope that what I’ve found to help me will help you as well. After all, Christmas only comes once a year; enjoy the joy of Christmas! Bask in it!

Merry Christmas!

Jean

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Of Celebrating Life

This week I celebrated another birthday. It was great! Lots of birthday wishes to brighten my day. However, when the day first began, I started to wonder where it would lead. Here’s what happened: I woke up to the sound of the television I’d left on the night before. Nothing unusual there, except there was a commercial on and, in my bleary-eyed state (you know, that place almost between waking and sleeping) I heard how I should invest in plastic surgery to eliminate those dreaded signs of aging. How could I live with those little lines and sagging chin; it was just…inexcusable. Of course, I couldn’t put the world through that, having to look at my unaltered face each and every day.

Oh yes, just what I wanted to think about on this day!

I dragged myself out of bed (I’m not a morning person) and into the bathroom. After a shower and some positive thoughts I felt ready to face the day. Still, that little commercial nagged at me. Eliminate the signs of aging, huh? No, not for me. I looked in the mirror, thinking ‘I can live with this.’ Still, was it a sign?

I began putting on my war paint. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. The stuff that enhances our natural beauty (or covers up a multitude of flaws). I’ll leave it to your imagination which way that works for me! As I began applying all the stuff, I noticed I was using anti-aging foundation (thank you, L’Oreal), Revitalift Eye Cream and Olay Regenerist ‘spackling’- at least that’s what I call that stuff that fills in all the little lines you notice but probably no one else does. (Especially if you have one of those mirrors that magnifies every little thing! Whoever invented that, I just want to know ‘What were you thinking?’) Did I really need another reminder I was getting older?

Mentally, I waived the thought of growing older and decided, instead, I would focus on life itself, being thankful for every day, finding reasons to celebrate the day. By the time I left home, I had conquered the negative feelings and was beginning to feel pretty good about myself and my life. I had so many things to be thankful for: family, good friends, more good than bad experiences. Life was good!

I hopped in the car, ready to face the day, determined to find and experience joy at every turn. And speaking of turns, just as I turned on the radio, I heard a familiar song: ‘It’s the End of the World As We Know It…’

Really?

Was this a sign?

Then I smiled. This was going to be an interesting day. And it was. And, as the day wound down, I found a voicemail with another song, the traditional ‘Happy Birthday’ sung by my grown kids in unison. Somehow the ones in the mountains had coordinated with the one at the coast so they could all be a part of making my day extra special.

It really doesn’t get much better than this.

And if I had a tear in my eye, I’ll never tell. But I will admit that it warmed my heart and gave me another reason to celebrate not a perfect, wrinkle-free life, but a life worth living.

And there it was…

Christmas in all its glory, in November. No, there wasn’t snow on the ground; it wasn’t even cold enough for that, but that will come, probably well after Christmas, in January, if I’m lucky. But today, as I walked through the downtown area, Christmas was there. It wasn’t too flashy, not much glitz—yet—but the street lamps had been decorated, just today, and that was all it took for my thoughts to turn to all things Christmassy.

I thought back to last year. How thankful I was to have had all my adult children in the house at the same time. I hoped it would work out that way this year as well. It seems harder to arrange now that they live so far away. Even so, whatever time and whenever I see them will be fine…and wonderful!

Walking down the sidewalk with the street lamps adorned with greenery makes me feel like I’ve gone back in time. Sure, they’re electric street lamps but they have that old-time look and feel. The atmosphere, with the cool crisp air, compels me to dream of holly days.

And dreaming of Christmas gives me a reason to celebrate life. Not all Christmases have been happy times, but dwelling on the ones that have, and dreaming of the ones that will, is good for the soul. I can’t help but smile, thinking of all those goodies I’m going to make, how the house will smell, how it will sound with the hum of friends and family sharing together, and the glow of the Christmas tree.

And there it is….another reason to celebrate life, and it all started with the trimming of a street lamp and the advent of the spirit of Christmas in my heart. I hope you’ve found a reason to celebrate life today. If not, look around you, really look, and see if you can find what God has sent your way to realize that life can, and should, be celebrated!

Joyfully yours,
Jean

99 Years Ago Today

On this day in 1911 a great man was born. When I came to know him, he was a man of few words but great wisdom. He had a sweet smile that lit up my world. His twinkling blue eyes radiated the love he felt for others but didn’t often put into words.

In his younger days Dee drove a Model T. It wasn’t as easy as turning a key (or pushing a button) to start the car. There was a crank on the front and I remember him telling me that you had to hand crank it, and there was a trick to it. It was best to cup the crank in your palm because if you put your thumb under the handle and it ‘kicked back’ it might break your thumb. Once cranked, he’d run to jump in, especially if it was on an incline. How times have changed.

When I think of all the life he experienced, it humbles me. How can I complain when the house is too hot in the summer realizing that the house he grew up in was cooled only by soft summer breezes and some not so cool? And for years he drove a car that had no air conditioning, radio, even windows.

I remember one story that he told about his younger days. He and his brothers, Henry and Kin, were riding down a dirt road in that Model T. They’d found a pig on the side of the road and picked it up. They came to a check point and, worried they’d get trouble with the law, Kin quickly threw one of their suit coats and a hat on the pig. The officer came over to the car and asked each of them their names. The Bailey boys complied and, from the back seat, the pig squealed. As he walked off, dad overheard the officer tell his partner. “I’ve seen some interesting characters in my time but that Oink Bailey is the ugliest son-of-a-gun I’ve ever seen!” I never knew if that was a true story or very much embellished. Guess I never will. But it brought a smile to a lot of people and it gave Dee great pleasure in telling it.

June 11, 1911. I often wonder what that day was like when that baby boy came into the world. That boy that grew up to be a man who cared about others more than himself. Now, I don’t know what he was really like in his younger years, but I do know what he was like later in life. And I do know that he loved and cared for his family.

Thinking back to Dee’s funeral is almost a blur, but there are a few moments that, after these 14 years, still stand out to me. The pastor of his church and a former pastor spoke and spoke well of him. In both cases, they mentioned that they had been—many times over—the recipients of his generosity. He was famous for handing out $20 bills. Not only to them, but to others too as I soon learned. There were plenty of times, as a college kid, that I wouldn’t have had enough gas to get from home back to college if not for his $20. I had to smile. Funny that none of us had known he was giving to the others. That was so like him. Giving without making a big deal of it. Quiet generosity. Speaking with actions rather than words.

I’m thankful that certain parts of Dee live on in me. I’m thankful that while dad may not have left a fortune, he left a legacy, a legacy I’m still trying to live up to. Most of all I’m thankful for 1911.

That was a very good year.

Are You A Creature of Habit?

Yesterday, I was reminded that we are creatures of habit. What habits have you created? Do they serve you well or do you wish you’d never created them?

A few weeks ago there had been a flurry of roadwork going on in my hometown. (If you’re a Burlington resident, you know exactly what I mean)! Streets were being scraped to make way for new pavement. It was rough driving there for awhile until the new pavement was laid. Wow, what a difference it made, and I came to appreciate something I’d taken for granted all these years: good roadways.

Interestingly, at the intersection of Main and Maple, a traffic flow change had been made. For years, we had been driving up to the intersection with the right lane giving us the option of turning right or going straight; the left lane was for left turns only. Now, according to the signs and painted arrows, the right lane was for right turns only; if you wanted to go straight or turn left, you needed to be in the left lane.

So yesterday, as I stood at the corner waiting to cross, I noticed that 4 out of 6 cars drove straight through the intersection, in the wrong lane. One of them even did this as a car was driving straight through in the correct lane; fortunately, the driver, noticing his error, slowed and let the other go through before he continued down Main Street behind him. I cringed a bit inside, hoping they wouldn’t crash. As I shared this with a friend, she noted, “It’s only a matter of time before somebody crashes.”

That’s when I realized that we really are creatures of habit. No doubt these drivers, just like me, had been driving down Main Street for years in the old traffic pattern. Even with a sign several yards before the intersection that warned of the change, many (if not most) drivers were continuing to go the same route they’d been going.

Does that sound familiar? Are you a creature of habit? Have you been doing things, saying things, believing things simply because you’d done it, said it, believed it for years?

I challenge you to ask yourself, do these actions, words and beliefs serve you well? Or do you find yourself on a downward spiral, ready to ‘crash’ at any minute?

Because of a traffic pattern change, and my own tendency to swerve into the wrong lane, I’ve asked myself that same question. What am I doing, out of habit, that I should change? What am I saying that I should stop saying? What am I believing? And do those beliefs have a solid foundation or should they be changed?

Good or bad, we are creatures of habit. Let’s make sure that you—and I—follow our good habits and rid ourselves of the ones that drag us down before we find ourselves ‘crashing.’

Habitually yours,

Jean

Your Perfect Day!

Have you spent your whole life waiting for your perfect day? Most of the time, I believe, what gets in our way of a perfect day is stress. Stressful situations can steal our joy in a heartbeat!

Today, I'll share with you 3 tips that I recently shared on Celebrate Life! the Internet radio show, to help you realize and experience YOUR perfect day.

I believe the worst gift we can give ourselves is to allow stress into our lives. Why? Because it’s such a negative force. Stress is not only emotional, which is bad enough, it also affects us physically. There’s a reason they’re called stress headaches! And that’s not all. According to WebMD many types of heart diseases such as heart attack and high blood pressure can be brought on by stress. It’s a nasty little culprit that you can’t afford to let into your life. Too much stress can ruin your perfect day before it even gets started.

There are many times when things happen that are less than pleasant or downright traumatic. This is life and, I don’t know about you, but I can’t control all my circumstances. But there is something I can control and that’s how I react to unpleasant situations that come my way. It’s not the circumstances, it’s the reaction that matters most. And for you, it’s your reaction that matters.

In order to de-stress your life and live your perfect day, you have to find something that works for you. These 3 tips are what works for me.

1)Breathe. Yep, it's that simple. When stressed, I find that I take shallow breaths. If I remind myself to breathe and breathe slowly and deeply, it has a calming effect. When you feel anxious, tell yourself: When stressed, take 3 deep breaths.

2)Expose your perfect day. Take a few moments to visualize your perfect day. Expose it to yourself, in your mind. Then, take it a step further: write it down; expose it on paper. Now, take it another step further: speak it out loud at least 5 times.

3)Move toward your perfect day. It's not enough to de-stress by breathing deeply, expose your day with visualization and repetition. You have to put some action to your intentions. Don't wait for your perfect day. Move toward it! Take action to make it happen. Start by controlling your reactions to any situation that comes your way. It's not the circumstances that matter most; it's your reaction to those circumstances that can make or break your perfect day.

As I mentioned before, this is what works for me. What works for you? If these techniques help you realize your perfect day (or even if they don't)feel free to write and let me know.

And if you want more information on how you can live your perfect day, listen to my radio show, Celebrate Life: Live Your Perfect Day!

Celebrate life!
Jean